Sunday, 31 December 2017

2017 in Review - Kindness

Hello everyone,
It's come to the time when I write my end of year blog. It really doesn't feel like two minutes since I wrote my end of year blog last year.


I decided to write this blog about kindness as I know the value of the little things. Everyone is different, lives different lives, and has different family circumstances. We all, and our loved ones, live through different challenges. You never know from looking at someone, from their social media or in general what that person might be facing. So many people face challenges which are invisible to the eye and struggle with mental health and/or invisible disabilities or difficulties. Kindness can go a long way in helping others alongside a little bit of time, compassion, empathy and patience and access to the right help and support.

On a personal level it's been a very mixed year for me. I've had ups and downs. I've struggled quite a bit with my anxiety and finding the right help for it. I saw my lovely boyfriend badly injure himself after training for the 10k events he had planned. I am so  proud of him for completing them in the end and battling through, but to see him feeling low was hard. As someone who finds social situations hard and lacks confidence in himself at times, I know going to Parkrun and having "banter" with my dad over which dog they get overtaken by has meant a lot to him. I really hope for Matt's mental health and confidence running is an easier ride for him.

 We both come from quite private families. It can take a bit of time to get to know us and for us to come out of our shell and open up as we both have issues with social anxiety and have never found making and maintaining friends easy.  I'm grateful to loved ones who have supported and believed in me and for being there through the ups and downs. I hope you know how much your support is valued. 

This next year I hope to manage my anxiety/low mood better, to be able to try a lot of new things and experiences in my day to day life, to understand anxiety better. I hope to live in the moment more, not worry as much and start to enjoy life.  I feel like I need to learn to believe in myself and be kind to myself as much as I do to others. I also want to stop apologising as much as I do.

That support and encouragement from others  helped me walking around Parallel London 10k, my mum completed her first 10k walk too. The experience was eye opening seeing so many people from so many walks of life wearing t-shirts with charities close to their hearts. Beforehand my anxiety made me think every worse case scenario possible, but I  got there at the end

I also had the opportunity to go to Parliament to talk for a a couple of minutes about some of my experiences. It was terrifying but an honour. I also stepped from behind my blog to do a short speech on blogging with anxiety and dyspraxia at the Dyspraxia Foundation AGM. It was lovely to meet others and I’m grateful to the ladies who work for the charity for always being there for a reassuring hug especially as any kind of speaking is a challenge for me with my social anxiety.

 On the topic of blogs I am ending the year with my blog reaching 250,000 views. Something which still seems surreal to me. Thank you so much if you've taken the time to read my blogs. It means a lot to me. Blogging helps to give me a voice, a voice which I can sometimes struggle to find in my day to life. I'm not the most confident in my writing and I hope to find the confidence to expand my blog  and open up about myself a bit more. I just hope in any way my words can help others not feel alone in their journeys.

This year my childhood idols Steps came back onto the music scene and after all of these years I got the opportunity to meet them. Their music helps me a lot.  I am very grateful for the kind words Mollie King has given me this year, they give me strength in difficult times. She always is so understanding, has time to listen and finds time to find out more. She inspires me to not give up.


I hope the year ahead is kind to you,
Take care of yourselves
Until Next time.......

Lots of Love
Rosie
xxx

Friday, 3 November 2017

Anxiety, noise and firworks

Hello everyone, I hope you're well?
As it's approaching bonfire night, I thought I would write a short blog to raise a bit of awareness about anxiety and fireworks.

For some people going to a bonfire with family and friends can be a great time to spend time together, but for others who have anxiety issues surrounding loud and unpredictable noises it can be overwhelming and more challenging. It is well known to keep your pets indoors throughout this time as it can be anxiety inducing for them, but not so much about for us humans. In this day and age fireworks aren't known for just being on 5th of November or New Year's Eve they carry on quite a bit afterward's. I think organised firework displays are a great way to bring communities together and also for some help raise funds for local charitable organisations. But over the years more and more go off on constantly throughout the day and night.

For some people who have anxiety or who are noise sensitive unpredictable loud noises can make them feel on edge, overwhelmed or experience panic attacks. As someone who finds unpredictability with noise a trigger for my anxiety, I can find this time of year overwhelming myself. Anxiety can make me quite a jumpy person in relation to unpredictable situations in general, it makes me feel
on edge and I can feel panicked. It's something I'm still personally working the National Autistic Society has some really helpful information on their website about anxiety, and bonfire night which I thought I would share.

If you do find this time of year more difficult firstly you're not alone, do things your way and if you find the noise itself  difficult there's a whole range of ear plugs and headphones out there.  If you are planning on going to a display plan ahead and maybe stand back from the crowds if you find them a challenge then go closer if you feel more comfortable. If you have a friend or family member who finds fireworks difficult don't judge them, if they experience anxiety or panic attacks in that environment, be patient and calm and understand it might need time. Sometimes finding a safe place away from the situation might help. Also your pets could be in need of extra cuddles, treats and kind words.

Take care of yourselves,
Until next time....





Saturday, 28 October 2017

Journeys

Hello everyone, I didn’t really get the chance to properly blog for both World Mental Health Day and Dyspraxia Awareness Week. I wanted to blog about journeys and how everyone is on their own unique journey and how others can help.

"Life" has always taken me longer, whether it be getting dressed, writing an assignment (or these blogs)  or being able to face various situations due to social anxiety/anxiety. There's a running joke in my household that I've been running late since birth and was procrastinating in the womb (I was a month overdue)

At school/university, I became very aware that things took me that bit longer. I felt like I was behind everyone else and that was before I attempted to leave the house.  As an adult due to anxiety and dyspraxia things do take me longer both dealing with situations and day to day tasks, especially if it involves travelling,  experiences new places, new people or crowds to name a few. It means it takes time to step out of my comfort zones and to feel comfortable and confident when meeting people or in group situations due to social anxiety.

 This has affected my self-esteem and confidence as I can be quite hard on myself, prone to beating myself up and doubting myself. I'm lucky to have a boyfriend who's flexible and patient with me. I'm very grateful to him for this and all he helps with. Step by step I’m hoping to build up my confidence and self-esteem in trying things which I find more difficult. I also think it can take time trying different things which can help.

Often, from an outsider looking in perspective, assumptions can be made those with difficulties and/or mental health conditions, can't be bothered or lazy. The brain is working harder to do things which others can take for granted. A listening ear, a little bit of time patience and empathy can go a long way. Words can make a huge difference to someone in helping them believe in themselves when they struggle to.

It's made me persevering  person and someone who has  more patience and empathy and understanding for other people's journeys, especially for  those whom life has never been naturally easy. A few months ago I completed Parallel London 10k event. Where I saw so many people who had various difficulties, disabilities and mental health conditions take part. It was eye opening to see how inclusive the event was. We were told at the start that it wasn't about times, as long as we got round in our own way. That made me feel more relaxed as it was non-judgemental.

 I love seeing others achieve especially when it's not been an easy journey. I really respect people in the public eye who speak out about their mental health especially Zoella with her anxiety. I've been loving watching Mollie and AJ on Strictly Come Dancing. I've always respected Mollie, as she's always been open about her childhood experiences with dyslexia which means life takes her a little bit longer. I have empathised with her and find her quite refreshing. I  have loved seeing how much perseverance and hard work have gone into their performances each week from both of them. Her kind words over the years have meant a lot to me.

I hope by writing this blog helps others maybe feel less alone. I have found it quite therapeutic writing it.

I'm grateful to those there for me on my journey, I hope you know how much I appreciate you and what you do for me.

Wherever you are on your journey, keep going you're a lot stronger than you think you are!
Until next time.....



Tuesday, 10 October 2017

World Mental Health Day 2017

Hello everyone, October 10th is World Mental Health day. An issue which affects so many of us and our loved ones. Up to 1:4 of  us will struggle with our mental health at any time. I didn't want to repeat myself from previous blogs so I think this one will be quite a short one!

Even though for many people talking isn't easy. I've always been someone who has bottled up how I feel and my emotions and never found opening up or talking about my anxiety or low mood easy, through fear of judgement or bothering others. I'm grateful to  some of the people in my life who have allowed me to open up a little more and I've found writing this blog therapeutic.

It's ok to talk and it's important to end the stigma surrounding mental illness and those who suffer from it. The more we talk about  issues such as mental health and invisible difficulties and disabilities, the less isolated people may feel. This week is also dyspraxia awareness week.  Most importantly take the time to listen, just having someone who listens can mean so much to someone.

You never know who may be struggling with mental health or with any issue invisible to the eye. Always be kind.

Everyone is different and finds different ways help, there is no one size fits all approach. Go at your own pace. But you're a lot stronger than your mind is telling you at times.

Until next time....

This week is al






Monday, 2 October 2017

Beneath the surface

Hello I hope you're all ok? Sorry for the slight delay in blogging since last post. The focus of my latest blog is looking beneath the surface especially when someone finds social situations more challenging.

It's important to remember that no two people are the same but for some who experience social anxiety and/or struggle with confidence in social situations it can mean getting to know them can take that bit more time. It can take a while to feel comfortable or feel more confident when meeting new people and sharing information about themselves and ideas more challenging.

On the outside they may appear bored, rude, aloof or simply just quiet. You might think that they simply just don't care or don't want to be in your company or being flaky. Social anxiety is more than just being shy: it’s a mixture of physical symptoms and thoughts and can be really difficult and frustrating to live with. It’s important to get to know how it affects someone differently and take time to help them feel more comfortable and confident but most importantly in their own time. Take your time to understand someone’s challenges but also try and boost their confidence to help them grow.

The words you use can make a huge difference. Having social anxiety/anxiety doesn’t mean someone doesn’t have an opinion or a voice, but you can help build up their confidence by simply listening. If you know someone is going through a rough patch with their mental health a listening ear can mean so much. You don’t know how much hard work it can take for someone to be able to do something you might take for granted. Don’t  put someone under pressure,  let them do it in their own time, your patience can mean a lot.

Most importantly  everyone is a person, someone with a story. Everyone has a story, and you never know what people may be dealing or struggling  with behind closed doors. You never know who may have a mental illness, disability or difficulty invisible to the eye. Whilst I wanted to focus this blog on my anxiety/social anxiety, I’m also dyspraxic and many people may have another difficulty alongside any mental health challenges.

As someone who has social anxiety/anxiety  and can experience panic attacks meeting new people groups of people can be a real challenge for me, speaking up, sharing my ideas all of the anxiety and overthinking which can come beforehand and all of the overthinking which can happen afterwards and low self esteem/low mood. It's lead to some misunderstandings and difficult situations.

But I hope those who know me well know more  about me and of my  life experiences and that I care and empathise with others. In previous blogs I have discussed my anxiety/social anxiety and situations I find challenging. An example can approach wanting  to approach someone or go into situations  with ideas and things you wish  to share. But the physical feelings and thoughts and worries of being judged or coming across as boring or annoying go alongside of this.

I can find small talk not the easiest, and like to get to know what makes someone who they are by looking deeper to get to know their heart and soul.

I hope to become more confident and manage my anxiety in time, and if you relate to any of what I've talked about I think it's important to go at your own pace, find people who understand your struggles but who also encourage you to grow. Asking questions or taking that little bit of time to get to know someone who has anxiety or finds social situations more challenging can mean a lot, and cause a lot less misunderstandings. You never know what you might find out about someone.

Until next time....









Thursday, 31 August 2017

Why I walk Parallel London for for anxiety and dyspraxia

On the 3rd of September, my mum and I will be walking Parallel London 10k. Returning from injury my boyfriend Matt is planning to hobble somehow around the 10k course too. Earlier this year he blogged about why he has been running for Anxiety UK and Dyspraxia Foundation. I thought I would share some of my experiences both growing up and as an adult.

We begin our story when we meet a little girl who never knew why she worried so much, got so overwhelmed and anxious, could never put her hand up in class, and why she was the only person in her reception class photo with an arm in a sling and was different. I had no idea I had an anxietyuntil I reached adulthood and dyspraxia was very much unheard of.

Whenever the subject P.E was brought up at school it made me feel full of dread, It made me feel embarrassed and very self -conscious too. I'm dyspraxic which means it takes me longer to process information and day to day tasks many people take for granted take that bit longer. The messages and wiring from the brain to the body get jumbled up. Everyone who is dyspraxic is very much different you'll never meet two of the same and it's still a very misunderstood condition, I'm a unique, quirky soul. I  have always found making friends difficult alongside my social anxiety, but I am also creative, with a really vivid imagination, huge love of animals and hard working.

Again everyone who has social anxiety/anxiety is different.  For me I mainly find feeling calm, social situations, being in groups of people, trying new things, going to new places, meeting new people and initiating conversations and new and the unknown, difficult. I also have quite a big fear of judgment and saying the wrong thing or appearing boring and can take me a while to come out of my shell.  I'm  an over-thinker and worrier.

At school, I was always the one who was chosen last to be a part of the team, the person nobody wanted to be partnered with and the one who was always last and experienced bullying which had quite a big impact on my social anxiety and confidence/self-esteem.

A few years ago my mental health hit rock bottom due to workplace bullying and I struggled with depression. I decided after this I didn't w
ant others to go through or feel what I felt alone, through these blogs and the awareness work I do hopefully educate others about issues invisible to the eye. I struggled in silence and it took me to be an adult to finally know I had anxiety/social anxiety and issues with low mood.  I would hate for other people to wait for so long like I did and struggle so long by themselves. Anxiety especially social anxiety  is still quite a challenge for me, but I hope with therapy in time to manage it. It's made me have empathy and understanding towards others.

The concept of me going around a 10k course even walking is quite a daunting one for someone with anxiety and dyspraxia and I am starting to feel the anxiety build up towards it with the unknown. Parallel London is a fully inclusive event meaning anyone with any kind of physical difficulty or disability and/or mental health condition can take part free of judgment, that also has designated areas that if people feel anxious or overwhelmed they can go to.

Last year I completed the 5k event with Matt and it really did open my eyes seeing people with severe and complex needs being able to take part in their own way. More events need to be more inclusive. Confidence and self-esteem alongside my anxiety is quite a big challenge for me  and make me struggle with low mood as I doubt and am far too hard on myself  so by completing this event it will give me a boost. Those around me say that I never give up, a persevere and
and so hopefully the event will help me believe in myself a little bit more.

Anxiety UK does amazing work alongside other mental health charities to reduce the stigma surrounding these and have always been caring. The Dyspraxia Foundation helped my family a lot when I was growing up and have helped me a lot as an adult by putting on conferences, so my mum will be giving back by taking herself.  The ladies from the office and other supporters are also taking part in Parallel, as for them this isn't something which is their usual forte.

We all are very much doing it mainly for awareness but if you have any spare money around to sponsor us, it will be gratefully appreciated. As individuals we do ok, but together we really can make a difference!
https://www.justgiving.com/teams/MattRosie17

Until next time ......




Monday, 28 August 2017

Why I walk Parallel London for for anxiety and dyspraxia

 On the 3rd of September, my mum and I will be walking Parallel London 10k. Returning from injury my boyfriend Matt is planning to hobble somehow around the 10k course too. Earlier this year he blogged about why he has been running for Anxiety UK and Dyspraxia Foundation. I thought I would share some of my experiences both growing up and as an adult.

We begin our story when we meet a little girl who never knew why she worried so much, got so overwhelmed and anxious, could never put her hand up in class, and why she was the only person in her reception class photo with an arm in a sling and was different. I had no idea I had an anxiety disorder until I reached adulthood and dyspraxia was very much unheard of.

Whenever the subject P.E was brought up at school it made me feel full of dread, It made me feel embarrassed and very self -conscious too. I'm dyspraxic which means it takes me longer to process information and day to day tasks many people take for granted take that bit longer. The messages and wiring from the brain to the body get jumbled up. Everyone who is dyspraxic is very much different you'll never meet two of the same and it's still a very misunderstood condition, I'm a unique, quirky soul. I  have always found making friends difficult alongside my social anxiety, but I am also creative, with a really vivid imagination, huge love of animals and care about humans.

Again everyone who has social anxiety/anxiety is different.  For me I mainly find feeling calm, social situations, being in groups of people, trying new things, going to new places, meeting new people and initiating conversations and new and the unknown, difficult. I also have quite a big fear of judgment and saying the wrong thing or appearing boring and can take me a while to come out of my shell.  I'm  an over-thinker and worrier and quite a sensitive emotional soul.

At school, I was always the one who was chosen last to be a part of the team, the person nobody wanted to be partnered with and the one who was always last and experienced bullying which had quite a big impact on my social anxiety and confidence/self-esteem.

A few years ago my mental health hit rock bottom due to workplace bullying and I struggled with depression. I decided after this I didn't w
ant others to go through or feel what I felt alone, through these blogs and the awareness work I do hopefully educate others about issues invisible to the eye. I struggled in silence and it took me to be an adult to finally know I had anxiety/social anxiety and issues with low mood.  I would hate for other people to wait for so long like I did and struggle so long by themselves. Anxiety especially social anxiety  is still quite a challenge for me, but I hope with therapy in time to manage it. It's made me have empathy and understanding towards others.

The concept of me going around a 10k course even walking is quite a daunting one for someone with anxiety and dyspraxia and I am starting to feel the anxiety build up towards it with the unknown. Parallel London is a fully inclusive event meaning anyone with any kind of physical difficulty or disability and/or mental health condition can take part free of judgment, that also has designated areas that if people feel anxious or overwhelmed they can go to.

Last year I completed the 5k event with Matt and it really did open my eyes seeing people with severe and complex needs being able to take part in their own way. More events need to be more inclusive. Confidence and self-esteem alongside my anxiety is quite a big challenge for me  and make me struggle with low mood as I doubt and am far too hard on myself  quite a bit so by hopefully completing this event it will give me a boost. Those around me say that I never give up, a persevere  and so hopefully the event will help me believe in myself a little bit more.

Anxiety UK does amazing work alongside other mental health charities to reduce the stigma surrounding these and have always been caring. The Dyspraxia Foundation helped my family a lot when I was growing up and have helped me a lot as an adult by putting on conferences, so my mum will be giving back by taking herself.  The ladies from the office and other supporters are also taking part in Parallel, as for them this isn't something which is their usual forte.

We all are very much doing it mainly for awareness but if you have any spare money around to sponsor us, it will be gratefully appreciated. As individuals we do ok, but together we really can make a difference!
https://www.justgiving.com/teams/MattRosie17
Until next time ......








2017 in Review - Kindness

Hello everyone, It's come to the time when I write my end of year blog. It really doesn't feel like two minutes since I wrote my en...