Thursday 31 December 2015

2015 in review - Making a difference


As 2015 comes to a close I thought it would be a good time to reflect on the year previous which has gone, whatever you're planning to do, I hope you have a very happy new year full of happiness and calm.

This year has seemed a bit of a whirlwind for me, but I feel very grateful to have been given so many opportunities and platforms to do what I'm most passionate about which is helping make a difference and raise awarness. Through the various conferences, blogs, charity fundraisers I have discovered how many people there are like me who have been through similar situations, have struggled with acceptance and getting the right help and support in life and experienced some of the same day to day challenges living with dyspraxia presents.

For many years of my life I thought it was just me being me, I thought I was stupid, worthless and that I would never amount to much in my life, which was fuelled with ignorance, bullying and a lack of undertanding of dyspraxia is. It was after then I decided to make a change and help others. Although day to day tasks can be a struggle, chaotic and overwhelming  and there's some things which will never be my forte in life I decided to focus on my strengths which has been my emotional sensitivity. My emotional sensitivity means I deeply care about the issues which I'm passionate about and have a lot of empathy and undertanding for others either human beings or animals.

I am very grateful to the people who have read my blogs, given me supportive messages about my speeches or in general just given me a little boost. The flip side of my emotional sensitivity means I struggle a lot with anxiety and feel emotion quite deeply and have really struggled over the years with self esteem and confidence. Which is why a lot of the blogs I write link a lot to the emotional and social side of dyspraxia and dyslexia, something which is often poorly understood.

I am also very grateful to charities who have supported my blogs and given me a platform to raise awareness. Especially to a group of ladies who work at the Dyspraxia Foundation who's words of positivity and encouragement got a very anxious Rosie up to do speeches and present me with the Mary Colley award earlier on in the year.

My thanks also go to the various dyslexia charities, Scope and Anxiety UK for also helping me raise awarness of hidden differences and mental health, I'm very grateful for all the opportunities.

This year has also been a year where I decided to make a difference to myself and seek help myself. Seeking help is a very brave step and it took me many years to have the courage and confidence to realise to help other people the first step was to help myself. If you are struggling please seek help, I know how crippling anxiey and mental illness can make day to day a real struggle. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

To the lady who inspires me to not let dyspraxia and dyslexia hold me back in life and uses her own experiences of dyslexia  in the public eye to raise awarness of so many issues close to her heart and make a differnce. I am very lucky to have an incredible inspiration in life Mollie King ( I had to bring her in somewhere!)

You don't need a reason to help someone or make a difference, making a difference  doesn't have to be something major, helping someone who is struggling, showing someone a smile if they don't have one, offering a little bit of kindness. Your words and actions can have such an impact on someone's life and can help or hinder someone. A little bit of encouragement can make someone's day in a postive way.

This blog is reaching 80,000 views, if it's helped one person feel less alone or understand themselves better it has all been worthwhile.

Finally to my incredible boyfriend and best friend who I am about to see the new year in with. Thank you for your acceptance, encouragement and everything you do constantly, it is always appreciated.

Thank you and here's to another year of awarness raising.

Rosie
Xxx


Saturday 12 December 2015

The anxious dyspraxic guide to Christmas chaos



With the festive season being in full swing I thought I would write a blog to offer some advice for people with dyspraxia and/or anxiety or people who may simply find the festive season a little overwhelming. As with all of my blogs, everyone with dyspraxia is different so not everyone will find everything I talk about challenging. Plus I thought it would be good to write myself some advice to follow myself which I hope I can follow.

 I think it's important to go at your own pace and not compare yourself to others. Set yourself little challenges which are manageable for you and be proud of yourself for achieving them, keep going you can do this! Most importantly as well as being kind to others be kind to yourself- you're trying your best and that's enough and enjoy spending time with your loved ones.

1. Crowds and busy places: At this time of year places are a lot busier than normal, bars, restaurants, transport. Crowds can be overwhelming at the best of times if you struggle with anxiety or sensory overload. Finding the right time to go to places can be helpful and avoiding the busiest of times. Go to places where you feel comfortable going and take 5 minutes out if it all gets too much and do some deep breathing exercises. Having understanding company with you can be really helpful too.

2. Shopping: The thought of going into crowded shops can be chaotic especially if spatial awareness is a difficulty, again lots of people trying to fit into not much space, whilst having to navigate yourself round all the fancy sales displays not to send them all flying, or other customers flying. Then there's trying to carry everyone's gifts without dropping them. Again I'd say choose your times wisely, write a list of what you need, who for and what shops you need beforehand and choose shops you know well and don't do too much. If it all gets a bit too much find some space for a breather. Take bags with you which you find easy to hold and always remember there's the internet to shop too.

3. Public transport: Everyone needs to be somewhere at Christmas and public transport can resemble people packed in like sardines. My dyspraxia can make travelling on public transport difficult (blog to follow more about this.) Having music as a distraction can help with anxiety and having a friend with you to help travelling in busy times can make life a little bit easier.

4. The works do/Christmas party: As someone who struggles with social anxiety and  socialising in big groups of people these are the kind of events are quite a big deal for me. I always end up worrying I'll say or do the wrong thing, accidentally spill my drink or get food round me or not be able to process all the conversations going on at once. Sitting next to someone who understands can really help so you can let them know if you need to go out for a few minutes or to offer a little bit of encouragement. Try not to beat yourself up and be hard on yourself.

5. Wrapping gifts/writing cards: My dyspraixic wrapping skills have less to be desired for, my non dyspraxic (well to his knowledge) boyfriend seems to find it even harder than me, so it can be a mess of paper, sellotape and a various assortment of bows and ribbon everywhere. I think it's important to remember it's the thought that counts, my family know that they will never get perfectly wrapped gifts nor neat handwriting in their cards, but the carefully chosen gifts inside and the messages inside the cards them make more than happy. A lot of stores offer free gift wrapping services and if it makes you feel more confident use a computer to write your cards.

6. Change of routine: For some people a change of routine around Christmas can be difficult and overwhelming, if it is try and do it slowly and in little steps so you can get used to the changes.

7. Tiredness and fatigue: with all that rushing around and our brains having to process the world around us 10x harder on any day, it can be really easy to feel especially more tired and struggle with fatigue at this time of year. Be kind to your body, look after yourself and make time to relax and unwind.

8.Low mood: For some people whatever time of year can be a struggle Christmas regardless, if you are going through a difficult time this Christmas for whatever reason always remember you're not alone and there will always be a listening ear.

9. Christmas dinner: If you struggle with fine motor skills the thought of having to cut up various meats, preparing vegetables and trying not to spill gravy all over yourself and your clothes can be a challenge, especially when in company. I've yet to master the not spilling gravy, and I still struggle cutting up tough food, I always think it's the enjoyment of eating the food that counts, clothing can always be washed or make a quick dash to get some kitchen roll.

10. If you're a friend or loved one who knows someone who struggles with any of the above one of the best things you can do is have an open mind and be empathetic. Talk to them about the best ways you can help, the little things can make a huge difference not just at Christmas but all year round.

Wednesday 2 December 2015

You're not alone!

Last Sunday I had the pleasure of taking part in a 5k Santa run (well walk in most of our cases) around Media City in Manchester with some of the Anxiety UK team, my whole family, boyfriend and dog Toby.

The evening beforehand my social anxiety had kicked in, worrying I would make an idiot of myself, the dog would smell food and run off or everyone would laugh at my dyspraxic awkward duck gait moves- to name just a few. My boyfriend joked the irony of being anxious before an event to raise awareness of anxiety.  

But how wrong could my anxiety be, I honestly don't think I have laughed and smiled so much in ages and I felt so relaxed. Around the course I was able to talk about my  own experiences something which I find quite difficult and was met with empathy and understanding, and listening to others stories and experiences made me feel less alone and that others had experienced similar to me. We even all did a #highfiveforanxiety photo to show others that they aren't alone.  I also found out one of the volunteers at the charity is dyspraxic and I was able to pass some of my knowledge on so the charity could support her better in the workplace. As for Toby I've never seem him have so many photos taken of him in his life, he was loving all the fuss and attention which all lead to awareness of the charity and the cause. A day later I even had the courage to face up to one of my fears and find other ways of managing my mental well being better. I discovered from the team the Headspace App which uses mindful meditation to be used on the go or at home, I can't wait to start trying it.

As the festive season is approaching I think it's important to remember that not everyone finds the build up easy. There is more crowds everywhere, in shopping centres, in bars and restaurants, on public transport, social pressures of gatherings and works dos and Christmas Parties and everything is a lot busier. It is also a time when those studying have a lot more work to do and there is a lot of pressure put on. So it's understandable for those who struggle with anxiety or other mental health struggles, or those with dyspraxia and/or sensory processing issues it to feel overwhelmed. Anxiety Warrior a blogger on Twitter has wrote a blog- Anxiously Festive to help those who struggle around this time of year, as someone who does I really recommend you give it a read: https://anxiwarrior.wordpress.com/2015/12/01/anxiously-festive/

It is also the time of year when the Dyspraxia Foundation launch their "Hats on for Christmas" appeal, again is a campaign where you see others photos across social media you feel less alone. Being able to go to Dyspraxia Foundation events over the last few years and speaking to others via the various Facebook groups set up to discuss dyspraxia and dyslexia has helped me see that there are adults with dyspraxia who find day to day tasks that others take for granted difficult or parents of children who've experienced similar and I find that there is so much empathy. The main reason for me writing these blogs is for others to not feel alone.




Living with a hidden difference/disability and or a mental health condition can make you feel isolated and lonely, but it's important to remember that you don't have to be an expert to help someone feel not alone, the little things can make a huge difference. Difference, disability and mental health shouldn't be something to be scared of taking about and not a taboo subject. Sometimes we have to put the phone down, turn the laptop off stand back and look around and see how much difference there is out there in the world, every person you see is fighting some kind of battle visible or not, if we all go out of our way every day to show a bit of empathy and kindness it really helps people feel not alone.

If you are struggling there are people who can help, here are a few useful phone numbers with an understanding ear at the other end,:
Anxiety Uk: 08444 775 774 or e-mail support@anxietyuk.org.uk
Mind: 0300 123 3393 or e-mail info@mind.co.uk
Dyspraxia Foundation Helpline: 01462 454986
Samaritans: 116 123




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