I thought as everyone is back to school/college/uni/work (delete where appropriate) in the next few weeks after the long summer (dreading those early morning get ups) I would write a blog and hopefully give some advice to help calm those new academic year anxieties we all get. I know quite a few people approaching new transitions too so I hope this might help too. Even if you're not having any changes or not dyspraxic/dyslexic, I hope my blog might help you too.
The thought of going back after after a long holiday has always throughout my life been a bit overwhelming for me, the thought of all things new and fear of the unknown. Like many people with dyapraxia my brain likes routine, with the unpredictability of our movements and how literally anything can happen, I like to know what I'm doing when and where and with who, the thought of that all being unfamiliar makes me feel a bit uneasy, but I'm determined to hopefully develop some strategies to make sure my anxiety doesn't get too unmanageable. I know I will be meeting new students, all with different needs, be in new rooms with new tutors and have completely new paperwork to fill in. It's really easy to put too much pressure on yourself so everything goes right and to plan and beat yourself up if it doesn't. I'm trying to this term have a go with the flow approach and try my best to try and feel excited by these changes and not petrified, and not to beat myself up if I do feel a bit lost (or literally get myself lost.)
I know a lot of parents will be feeling the back to school anxiety worried maybe about their child getting the right support, whether the teacher will understand their child's needs or worried maybe about getting an assessment. The best advice I can give to that is keep fighting and pushing and hopefully someone will listen, the most important and key thing to remember is however hard it gets you're not on your own with this. Often anxiety can make us think the worst possible situation in our heads, in reality you never know what may happen, see this new academic year as a new beginning.
Advice and strategies
Try and lie out your/your child's clothes or uniform the night before and have it in the order to be put on to try and save time in the morning running round like a headless chicken.
As a little girl my dyspraxia meant I struggled getting dressed independently, even when I did it would often be inside out or the wrong way round, my mum used to find clothes easy to pull on with elastic and with not many fiddly buttons etc, these days you can get elasticated shoelaces etc. Even as an adult I try and buy clothes which are easy to get on and off, and ones which I know my body isn't sensitive to the texture of.
Start the day in a positive way, have a healthy breakfast, find maybe a positive quote or mantra to help you feel positive about the day.
Make a visual timetable of what has to be done on a day to day, use pictures, colours whatever will help you remember important things and the routine of what might be happening and make the most of calendars on phones/I pads etc.
Have a place for important things like keys, phone, purse, bus pass etc easier said than done I know, the amount of times there's been chaos and me throwing clothes around the room because I can't find important things, then realising I'm running late.
Write down important details which you might need to remember on your phone in simple form and have a few copies either saved on your computer or pinned up to help aid your memory.
Find out what assistive technology there is out there and might help.
Find out what support is available for you/your child, having the right support can make so much difference, sadly many people have to go though so many battles to get it.
As our brains/bodies are working 10x harder to do the little things & also have difficulty processing the world around us, which can lead to fatigue, low energy and exhausting ourselves, find a way after you have finished for the day to relax yourself and your mind, have a nap, listen to relaxing music whatever helps you feel calm.
Amongst so much change, find something which is like a home comfort to look forward to afterwards it might be something related to a specialist interest, favourite music, spending time with a pet, something to make you smile.
I always find the thought of meeting lots of new people overwhelming, I always worry about what I might say or do and overthinking situations but this term I'm going to really try and boost my confidence and self esteem.
Remember you are an unique individual, worthy of happiness and sucess, be kind to others but most importantly be kind to yourself.
Monday 31 August 2015
Thursday 27 August 2015
A different way of thinking
If you look all around you, you will see so many people who each will think in a completely different way and see the world differently- amazing! For people with a hidden difference, because of the different way our brains our wired, we process information differently, we learn in a different way, and the way we approach day to day life and the tasks involved with that, as dyspraxia effects so much of the skills involved in day to day life.
I thought it would be a good idea to write this blog before everyone goes back or starts school/college/uni/work after the summer holidays to raise some awareness of different ways of thinking and the importance of getting the right help and support with this and of course the many strengths of a different way of seeing the world.
Growing up for me dyslexia was seen as just someone having trouble with reading and spelling, dyspraxia was unheard of, at a push seen as clumsiness, or seen as the same as dyslexia ( one of the biggest misconception about dyspraxia is that it's the same, yes there are overlaps and people may have both like me, but they are not the same.) There was nothing mentioned at all about a different way of thinking or wiring, I just thought I was being accident prone, clumsy Rosie. Sometimes it can seem like society ignores a different way of thinking completely, and if you think in a different way it is wrong. For me and my mum it was/has been such a battle as I've mentioned a lot in my blogs to get me the help, support and understanding I needed and to be listened to.
There has been many situations where my different way of approaching tasks, the length of time it took me to carry out tasks, or the struggles I had with these tasks was "wrong" and I needed to "try harder" or "speed up" or "stop being so careless" or I was treated like I was stupid. I see so many people who have experienced bullying because of their differences and it makes me feel so sad that this still happens, nobody deserves ignorance and ignorant attitudes. It can be quite isolating when you think in a different way at times, I've often been the only one who has in so many situations in life. On Tuesday I met up with good friend Julie from DigiT and fellow dyspraic & dyslexic blogger Hannah @dyspraxichick it was so lovely to talk through the ups, the downs, the chaos and the creativity and with people who "get it."
That's why it's so important that people can access the right help and support to help them, whether it be a different teaching style, access to specific tutoring or support like occupational therapy, equipment to help with day to day tasks, or specialist software or assistive technology whichever work best for your child. A different way of thinking also means we may be creative, think outside the box- or sometimes like there is is no box, finding different solutions to problems, determined and resilient which I mention a lot in my blogs very passionate about what we believe in and what interest us, and sensitive, understanding, empathetic souls and it's important that the strengths are recognised so people can focus on something which we enjoy and can get some success in which can boost self esteem and confidence.
It's important that it's not just in education, the way we think is there in every aspect of our lives, from the day to day tasks, to socialising, to how we access social media, it may mean we have different interests to the people we know. It also means we can't suddenly change the way we think, even though we have coping strategies, there may be things we still find difficult. The sooner society understands that we are all different and that it is ok the better. I know there will be a lot of anxious parents and equally anxious children and young people thinking about the weeks ahead, also people who may not be starting a new venture, but you're never alone, the more we talk about different ways of thinking the more hopefully others will understand. Wouldn't the world be such a boring place if we were all the same anyway.
I thought it would be a good idea to write this blog before everyone goes back or starts school/college/uni/work after the summer holidays to raise some awareness of different ways of thinking and the importance of getting the right help and support with this and of course the many strengths of a different way of seeing the world.
Growing up for me dyslexia was seen as just someone having trouble with reading and spelling, dyspraxia was unheard of, at a push seen as clumsiness, or seen as the same as dyslexia ( one of the biggest misconception about dyspraxia is that it's the same, yes there are overlaps and people may have both like me, but they are not the same.) There was nothing mentioned at all about a different way of thinking or wiring, I just thought I was being accident prone, clumsy Rosie. Sometimes it can seem like society ignores a different way of thinking completely, and if you think in a different way it is wrong. For me and my mum it was/has been such a battle as I've mentioned a lot in my blogs to get me the help, support and understanding I needed and to be listened to.
There has been many situations where my different way of approaching tasks, the length of time it took me to carry out tasks, or the struggles I had with these tasks was "wrong" and I needed to "try harder" or "speed up" or "stop being so careless" or I was treated like I was stupid. I see so many people who have experienced bullying because of their differences and it makes me feel so sad that this still happens, nobody deserves ignorance and ignorant attitudes. It can be quite isolating when you think in a different way at times, I've often been the only one who has in so many situations in life. On Tuesday I met up with good friend Julie from DigiT and fellow dyspraic & dyslexic blogger Hannah @dyspraxichick it was so lovely to talk through the ups, the downs, the chaos and the creativity and with people who "get it."
That's why it's so important that people can access the right help and support to help them, whether it be a different teaching style, access to specific tutoring or support like occupational therapy, equipment to help with day to day tasks, or specialist software or assistive technology whichever work best for your child. A different way of thinking also means we may be creative, think outside the box- or sometimes like there is is no box, finding different solutions to problems, determined and resilient which I mention a lot in my blogs very passionate about what we believe in and what interest us, and sensitive, understanding, empathetic souls and it's important that the strengths are recognised so people can focus on something which we enjoy and can get some success in which can boost self esteem and confidence.
It's important that it's not just in education, the way we think is there in every aspect of our lives, from the day to day tasks, to socialising, to how we access social media, it may mean we have different interests to the people we know. It also means we can't suddenly change the way we think, even though we have coping strategies, there may be things we still find difficult. The sooner society understands that we are all different and that it is ok the better. I know there will be a lot of anxious parents and equally anxious children and young people thinking about the weeks ahead, also people who may not be starting a new venture, but you're never alone, the more we talk about different ways of thinking the more hopefully others will understand. Wouldn't the world be such a boring place if we were all the same anyway.
Tuesday 18 August 2015
The social side of dyspraxia
I decided to write this blog after I saw discussions on social media groups about the social side of dyspraxia as there isn't much knowledge and awareness about it also to help those close to me understand why I may find some situations quite tricky sometimes. Firstly before I get into this blog it's important to remember that each person you meet with dyspraxia is unique and not everyone may have difficulties socially, it's important to get to know the individual person.
When many people think of dyspraxia, they think of the physical side the clumsiness, the co-ordination and balance issues, the difficulties with fine motor skills. When people think of social issues people will think of autism, even though people may have crossovers, it's important to remember dyspraxia is not on the autistic spectrum. Natalie has blogged about some of the overlaps between dyspraxia and autism such as eye contact, routines and literal thinking here: hhttps://theblogwithonepost.wordpress.com/2015/08/19/dyspraxia-autism-the-overlap/ I hope this blog will help raise awareness of some of the issues people may struggle with socially, give some positive strategies and hopefully talk about some of the positives of being dyspraxic in social situations.
For me I always find it a lot easier to socialise in small groups than in larger groups, in large groups I can be seen as the quiet one, the one who doesn't speak much or seems quite distracted by the world around me,but it doesn't mean I'm being anti social or that I don't care. It always takes me a while to feel come out of my shell, but once I trust people and feel more comfortable I be quite chatty and bubbly especially in smaller groups. Just because we may seem quiet doesn't mean we can't or don't have a voice or opinion. One of the reasons why I can find large groups quite difficult is trying to process all the different conversations at once, especially if there is more than one conversation going, by the time I've thought of my reply people have often moved on. Natalie has written a really good explanation of this in her latest blog: http://bit.ly/1PkKMgU
Often people with dyspraxia can find that they find background noise distracting so if there's lots of conversations going on in the background or background music it can make it difficult to focus on concentrate. I sometimes find that my voice can go very loud and I don't realise I'm shouting, but the sometimes the complete opposite and I'm mumbling and nobody can hear what I'm saying, spacial awareness or lack of awareness can make it tricky judging distances between yourself and other people. It doesn't mean people are being rude, or unsociable we might just need a little bit more time to process the environment around us.
Then there's some of the issues I talked about in my blog about emotional sensitivity,http://bit.ly/1fnOkm3 confidence and anxiety For me some of my social anxieties are related to dyspraxia but some aren't. I feel like the word social anxiety is very over used in society these days, but in reality constantly over thinking, worrying if you're going to make a mistake, beating yourself up afterwards, and the fear of the unknown aren't nice feelings. As dyspraxia isn't very well known there's always that anxiety that our body and brain wires might do something we might not want it to, we might spill a drink, or bump into someone or forget our way to the toilets- happened to me many times even before a few cocktails, for some people counselling/cbt can help with the anxiety issues and give more positive strategies.
I think it's important to be yourself and focus on situations you feel most comfortable in, there are some really lovely bars, cafes and restaurants out there where you can meet a few friends but at the same are able to have a chat too. Finding people who understand is a huge bonus, if you do end up in a big group even being able just to tell one person can make you feel a lot more relaxed. Finding an interest or a hobby and meeting like minded people can help too,people with dypraxia are often very knowledgeable and passionate about issues so focusing on what you're good at can be a real confidence boost. But some people with dyspraxia may just enjoy their own company, and that's ok too and noting for parents to be worried about. I may never be the loudest socially, but I'll always be a good listener,be able to think of alternative solutions to problems and be able to think outside the box which can be a positive for people with dyspraxia in conversations. I've found writing blogs has helped me find my voice I also
find speech to text assistive technology very beneficial too as it helps to get all the ideas onto paper which dyslexia/dyspraxia makes it hard. If we were all the same the world would be such a boring place, embrace your uniqueness and if you see someone who may struggle a little socially, try and get to know them a little more, give them time to find their voice, you never know what you might find out about them and if you're a naturally confident person in social situations, please never take it for granted.
find speech to text assistive technology very beneficial too as it helps to get all the ideas onto paper which dyslexia/dyspraxia makes it hard. If we were all the same the world would be such a boring place, embrace your uniqueness and if you see someone who may struggle a little socially, try and get to know them a little more, give them time to find their voice, you never know what you might find out about them and if you're a naturally confident person in social situations, please never take it for granted.
Sunday 16 August 2015
Life isn't a race it's a journey
Throughout my life I've always been the slow one, whether it be the one everyone is
always waiting for as I'm running late, the last one to get changed for P.E or to copy my work down when I was at school, the one everyone is waiting for to walk up and down the stairs or keep up in speed or in general taking a lot longer than everyone else to do the little things. Sometimes it can feel like everyone is getting so much further in their life quicker than you and it can be really frustrating.
But I wanted to write this blog to show that as long as you keep going, keep trying hard you can eventually make it or most importantly find happiness in life. We all face so many different battles and obstacles, it can seem overwhelming sometimes how to tackle them or feel like the hardest battle is getting other people to listen so we can access the support we need. It's easy to feel disheartened and compare ourselves to others and their journeys, and understandable that parents feel anxious that their child might not be progressing as quickly as everyone else in the class.
It can often feel society judges us and expects us to be at a certain point in our lives at a certain time, people can make ignorant assumptions and think you'll never make it or get anywhere with your life, whilst this as I've talked about in my previous blogs can have such a negative impact. The thing which keeps many people who have a hidden difference going is resilience and determination, we may struggle, we may find things difficult, there may be meltdowns, tears, frustrations, but we keep at it and don't give up. I often find it's something people often don't imagine coming, they wrongly expect less of us, but that resilience keeps going.
I've recently realised that needing a break, admitting you're struggling or needing a bit of self tlc, doesn't mean that journey is stopping, for that journey to keep going forward we need to be looking after ourselves and our wellbeing. It doesn't mean you're any less of a person either for those of us with hidden differences we may find throughout our lives we may need to recharge and look after ourselves and our mental health and that's something it's ok not to be ok sometimes and be honest how we feel.
It may have taken me a lot longer than some of the people I know to be able to do somethings, but when you do get there it makes you really appreciate the journey it took you, and have an appreciation for the little things in life and those in the journeys of others too. I have a lot of time and a lot of respect for anyone who keeps persisting to reach their goals. A very close friend of mine is going back to college in September to do her A-levels, despite facing some personal issues she's kept going and I have so much respect for her, she eventually dreams of being a maths teacher and I know for sure she'll get there.
There's been times when I've wanted to give up, it hasn't been easy but achieving my masters degree, the Mary Colley award from dyspraxia foundation, running a 10k and moving to London all in a few years has taught me I'm no quitter and I keep fighting. I'm also just as proud of the little things I achieve which most people maybe don't think of such as: coping in a busy crowd, being able to keep my space around me tidy, or cross a busy main road, or get to a new place without getting lost, thery all add up over time. Even though I have a long way to go in quite a few of my battles, I've come a long way from when I started to write this blog. Having dyspraxia, dyslexia and anxiety has made me so determined, and I know I have proved wrong the bullies and ignorant people I've met in life who said I wouldn't get anywhere with my life, sometimes it just takes one person to understand you and your and your journey to keep you going through the hardest times. It doesn't matter how slowly you go, as long as you do not stop.
Wednesday 12 August 2015
Encourage escapism
We all need to at some point in life escape, I'm currently writing this blog after a busy day seeing various landmarks in Barcelona, it feels lovely to get away and explore a different country and culture despite my initial fear of the unknown.
I think it's so important that we encourage others to escape however they wish to and not make judgements. I've noticed quite a few parents saying their child was being judged for escaping by doing or liking things which their peers might not be. We have no idea what goes on behind closed doors and how much a bit of escapism might help someone. It might be listening to music or even wanting to meet a celebrity, spending time with pets, a specific hobby or interest. In my last blog I discussed about emotional sensitivity and how much of an impact it can have on someone with a hidden difference or disability, escapism can sometimes be crucial as often someone is frustrated by their body and brain not doing what it's told, how lack of public knowledge and ignorance on hidden differences such as dyspraxia can influence people and the overwhelming effects of anxiety.
Some of the interests I've had throughout my life have never been typical for someone my age, I've been judged for them, had people question why I would look up to a celebrity and people assume that my choices of escapism would have a detrimental impact on my life. How wrong could that last statement be. For children who struggle academically or in other aspects of life, finding an escapism can help them find something they are good at, increase self worth and confidence and even have a positive impact on other areas of their lives as that level of new found confidence can spur them on to tackle other challenges in life.
My friend Hannah wrote a blog about football being more than just a game which can be found here, tohttps://hannanarscrawls.wordpress.com/2015/08/11/sometimes-its-not-just-a-game/ tomorrow me and my boyfriend are visiting the Nou Camp stadium home to Barcelona football club, to Matt football is a huge escapism in his life, a huge Arsenal fan (an equally huge pop music fan) and as someone who doesn't find things the easiest in life sometimes, I see how happy it makes him. A few months ago we saw the Backstreet Boys at an intimate concert he couldn't stop smiling for days, maybe not a typical interest for a man in his early 30's but I know it makes him happy and gives him a confidence boost. Just as for me meeting Mollie gives me a boost. This year he will be running 4 10k's to raise awareness of 2 charities close to his heart diabetes UK and dyspraxia foundation, fundraising and raising awareness will be always something as a couple we find an escape in.
Living with a hidden difference can be chaotic for everyone involved, in my speech I give I always say it's the ups, the downs, the chaos and of course the creativity. When you see the world in a different way it can be overwhelming and escapism can help a little bit and give us confidence to explore the positives of a different way of thinking.
Sometimes we just need to put ourselves in others shoes, there will always be battles we go through which never make social media the ones nobody knows, but we can always have a non judgemental attitude. If something or someone makes someone happy then that's the main thing, spread happiness and kindness.
I think it's so important that we encourage others to escape however they wish to and not make judgements. I've noticed quite a few parents saying their child was being judged for escaping by doing or liking things which their peers might not be. We have no idea what goes on behind closed doors and how much a bit of escapism might help someone. It might be listening to music or even wanting to meet a celebrity, spending time with pets, a specific hobby or interest. In my last blog I discussed about emotional sensitivity and how much of an impact it can have on someone with a hidden difference or disability, escapism can sometimes be crucial as often someone is frustrated by their body and brain not doing what it's told, how lack of public knowledge and ignorance on hidden differences such as dyspraxia can influence people and the overwhelming effects of anxiety.
Some of the interests I've had throughout my life have never been typical for someone my age, I've been judged for them, had people question why I would look up to a celebrity and people assume that my choices of escapism would have a detrimental impact on my life. How wrong could that last statement be. For children who struggle academically or in other aspects of life, finding an escapism can help them find something they are good at, increase self worth and confidence and even have a positive impact on other areas of their lives as that level of new found confidence can spur them on to tackle other challenges in life.
My friend Hannah wrote a blog about football being more than just a game which can be found here, tohttps://hannanarscrawls.wordpress.com/2015/08/11/sometimes-its-not-just-a-game/ tomorrow me and my boyfriend are visiting the Nou Camp stadium home to Barcelona football club, to Matt football is a huge escapism in his life, a huge Arsenal fan (an equally huge pop music fan) and as someone who doesn't find things the easiest in life sometimes, I see how happy it makes him. A few months ago we saw the Backstreet Boys at an intimate concert he couldn't stop smiling for days, maybe not a typical interest for a man in his early 30's but I know it makes him happy and gives him a confidence boost. Just as for me meeting Mollie gives me a boost. This year he will be running 4 10k's to raise awareness of 2 charities close to his heart diabetes UK and dyspraxia foundation, fundraising and raising awareness will be always something as a couple we find an escape in.
Living with a hidden difference can be chaotic for everyone involved, in my speech I give I always say it's the ups, the downs, the chaos and of course the creativity. When you see the world in a different way it can be overwhelming and escapism can help a little bit and give us confidence to explore the positives of a different way of thinking.
Sometimes we just need to put ourselves in others shoes, there will always be battles we go through which never make social media the ones nobody knows, but we can always have a non judgemental attitude. If something or someone makes someone happy then that's the main thing, spread happiness and kindness.
Friday 7 August 2015
Sensitive soul
I've been wanting to write this blog for a while, but wanted to to make sure it was done right and in a way where I could offer some advice/support after I noticed a lot of parents of children with dyspraxia/dyslexia were asking for advice about emotional sensitivity and anxious meltdowns. In this blog I want to raise awareness of emotional sensitivity issues, offer some advice and hopefully show how sensitivity can be a real strength of character
Throughout my life I've always been a very sensitive person and found life very overwhelming, not just because of my dypraxia/dyslexia but just who I am, think I've inherited it through the generations my mum has always been a very anxious worrier, but at the same time is one of the most generous kind people I've met in life. My sensitivity means that as a child I used to have quite a lot of anxious melt downs, I struggled to cope in the environment around me, and it was literally like walking on egg shells for my family and those close to me. Being so sensitive means I deeply care about a lot of issues and have a strong sense of justice, I can't bear to see any unnecessary pain or suffering and can't understand why somebody would hurt another person or an animal. As a person it means I can struggle to regulate my emotions, be a very literal thinker and take things to heart, my boyfriend says I wear my heart on my sleeve, and am a very conciousness person and would hate to upset anyone it also makes me prone to health and general anxiety.
Having dyspraxia frequently causes anxiety and lacking self esteem and confidence. Emotional problems are common because firstly a lack of awareness and understanding of what dyspraxia is in general, if we have an issue in public people a lot of people will not automatically think "oh it could be dyspraxia" I know for me that's always something which has made me self concious and pressures from people who may not understand. A lot of my emotional meltdowns as a child and growing up were also out of frustration, frustration at my body and brain not deciding to do what it was told to do. also I am a very sensitive to sensory issues such as noise and heat. We can also find it hard to adapt to new or unpredictable situations and have fear of the unknown. I'm a very visual thinker and like to plan situations or rehearse them out in my head, I plan every eventuality which could happen, sometimes ending up catastrophisng them. I can also rehearse conversations too, to make some social situations easier for me as I can find some social situations overwhelming/ not easy. My mum also does this so again a lot of people who aren't neurodiverse can experience similar anxiety's. I used to be so insecure about being so sensitive, I was surrounded by really assertive people, and my good nature and literal thinking was often manipulated by others and it lead to me experiencing bullying.
Things changed slightly when I accessed talking therapies, I could have done with this a lot earlier in life to help me manage my emotions in a more positive way and develop my confidence. I also got taught some skills for assertiveness and being able to say no. I think it's important to work out strategies which will work best for you/your child unique to you/them but I hope this blog make have helped highlight what some of the triggers. For me this is an on going process and I hope over time I will be able control my anxieties and not let them control me. I think it's helpful to have a more rational view of a situation too I find my boyfriend helps really well with this.
I've also realised that over time my emotional sensitivity has been turned into emotional resilience which shows that sensitivity isn't a sign of weakness but a sign of strength and that being sensitive can have some positives in life too such as being very empathetic to others and have a natural understanding when they might be struggling with life, I find I'm very good at working out when someone isn't ok and needs a bit of support, also it makes us have non judgemental and seeing the bigger picture both of people and situations , in world sometimes filled with so much bitterness and cruelty that can be such a good thing. It can also be a huge strength in a lot of jobs working with people and animals. In my job as a learning support I can understand what it's like to struggle and give my students a confidence boost and a bit of encouragement. I've also accepted it as part of me, and I hope given some of the recent situations which have happened in my life that it is a positive quality to have. If you're lucky in life to know a sensitive soul don't take advantage or manipulate them but instead embrace the positives which it can bring support them in seeking any help to make life easier and sensitivity is a rarity in society so grasp it with open arms, literally sometimes, now anyone need a hug?
Throughout my life I've always been a very sensitive person and found life very overwhelming, not just because of my dypraxia/dyslexia but just who I am, think I've inherited it through the generations my mum has always been a very anxious worrier, but at the same time is one of the most generous kind people I've met in life. My sensitivity means that as a child I used to have quite a lot of anxious melt downs, I struggled to cope in the environment around me, and it was literally like walking on egg shells for my family and those close to me. Being so sensitive means I deeply care about a lot of issues and have a strong sense of justice, I can't bear to see any unnecessary pain or suffering and can't understand why somebody would hurt another person or an animal. As a person it means I can struggle to regulate my emotions, be a very literal thinker and take things to heart, my boyfriend says I wear my heart on my sleeve, and am a very conciousness person and would hate to upset anyone it also makes me prone to health and general anxiety.
Having dyspraxia frequently causes anxiety and lacking self esteem and confidence. Emotional problems are common because firstly a lack of awareness and understanding of what dyspraxia is in general, if we have an issue in public people a lot of people will not automatically think "oh it could be dyspraxia" I know for me that's always something which has made me self concious and pressures from people who may not understand. A lot of my emotional meltdowns as a child and growing up were also out of frustration, frustration at my body and brain not deciding to do what it was told to do. also I am a very sensitive to sensory issues such as noise and heat. We can also find it hard to adapt to new or unpredictable situations and have fear of the unknown. I'm a very visual thinker and like to plan situations or rehearse them out in my head, I plan every eventuality which could happen, sometimes ending up catastrophisng them. I can also rehearse conversations too, to make some social situations easier for me as I can find some social situations overwhelming/ not easy. My mum also does this so again a lot of people who aren't neurodiverse can experience similar anxiety's. I used to be so insecure about being so sensitive, I was surrounded by really assertive people, and my good nature and literal thinking was often manipulated by others and it lead to me experiencing bullying.
Things changed slightly when I accessed talking therapies, I could have done with this a lot earlier in life to help me manage my emotions in a more positive way and develop my confidence. I also got taught some skills for assertiveness and being able to say no. I think it's important to work out strategies which will work best for you/your child unique to you/them but I hope this blog make have helped highlight what some of the triggers. For me this is an on going process and I hope over time I will be able control my anxieties and not let them control me. I think it's helpful to have a more rational view of a situation too I find my boyfriend helps really well with this.
I've also realised that over time my emotional sensitivity has been turned into emotional resilience which shows that sensitivity isn't a sign of weakness but a sign of strength and that being sensitive can have some positives in life too such as being very empathetic to others and have a natural understanding when they might be struggling with life, I find I'm very good at working out when someone isn't ok and needs a bit of support, also it makes us have non judgemental and seeing the bigger picture both of people and situations , in world sometimes filled with so much bitterness and cruelty that can be such a good thing. It can also be a huge strength in a lot of jobs working with people and animals. In my job as a learning support I can understand what it's like to struggle and give my students a confidence boost and a bit of encouragement. I've also accepted it as part of me, and I hope given some of the recent situations which have happened in my life that it is a positive quality to have. If you're lucky in life to know a sensitive soul don't take advantage or manipulate them but instead embrace the positives which it can bring support them in seeking any help to make life easier and sensitivity is a rarity in society so grasp it with open arms, literally sometimes, now anyone need a hug?
Sunday 2 August 2015
Day To Day Life
My next blog focuses on something which I think deserves a lot more attention and something which a lot of people are unaware of, it's about how much day to day life can effect someone with a hidden difference, especially dyspraxia. Day to day tasks are something which a lot of us just do automatically and probably not put any thought into it, but for people with dyspraxia/dyslexia or any other hidden difference we have to think of every single movement and every single little thing. Things like using fine motor skills to do fiddly stuff, cooking and preparing food, trying co-ordinate our bodies so we can attempt to walk in a straight line and try and balance not to fall over whilst trying to get out of the house on time with everything we need, and that's before we have even have left the front door, maybe with a few bonus spillages down us.
A lot of people in life have expected me to grow out of my dyspraxia/dyslexia like suddenly I entered the adult world and became neurotypical somehow. When I received my degree and then my masters degree two things which I'm very very proud of people assumed that I must have overcome everything and things not to effect me anymore, or and this is why I wanted to write this blog to highlight that issues don't just suddenly go away, we may develop coping strategies and focus on the things we're good at and often find a different way of doing things but often people can still struggle with day to day tasks or need to take a lot of time and energy to carry them out which can lead to tiredness and fatigue it can also have a huge impact on self esteem and confidence. Each person has their unique neuro diverse profile and may have different overlaps or co-currences with other differences. That's why it's so important to ask the individual person to find out more.
Needing a little bit of help and support in life with whatever issues you might be struggling with is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about, and at the same time if you see someone who needs a little bit of help don't judge or make assumptions why without knowing the full story, if someone is trying that's the main thing. I always say my boyfriend is the organisation of the relationship and I'm the creative one. He helps me organise my life, and work out where I need to be and when and try his best to remember where I might of put things and I can offer creative and different ways to solving problems. It's important to work out what works for you, and use the strengths of the people around you. .
Day to day life can come into aspects of life like needing a seat to sit down on the bus or train as a lot of dyspraxics can struggle with balance and co-ordintion and the speed at some bus drivers drive at it's literally grip for deal life, but not everyone understands why. A lot of us can struggle in new environments or ones which have a lot of sensory issues, so it can take us a while to adjust and feel more comfortable and calm those anxiety levels down a bit and be able to socialise as situations can get very overwhelming for us. When people think of clumsiness in adults they often think it must be alcohol induced, the amounpt of times people have come up to me and assumed I must have had lots to drink. The dyslexic side of things might be miss reading signs got me into a few amusing situations, someone at my work's dyslexic husband misread their holiday destination and ended up booking a flight to the wrong place which caused them a lot of amusement at the airport. It all comes down to the invisibility of it all and sometimes I wish the outside world could see what is going on inside the brain so they could understand why.
Over time a lot of us do develop coping strategies to help manage these day to day issues and when you do be very proud of yourself, find what works best for you and fits in with your life and routines, keep trying and don't beat yourself up if you make a mistake, it might be a long road and a lot longer road but be proud of your determination and perseverance it's such an amazing quality to have, always be kind you never know what people are facing. If you see someone struggling in life no matter how old they are, go give them a hand don't walk by, you might just make their day a little brighter.
A lot of people in life have expected me to grow out of my dyspraxia/dyslexia like suddenly I entered the adult world and became neurotypical somehow. When I received my degree and then my masters degree two things which I'm very very proud of people assumed that I must have overcome everything and things not to effect me anymore, or and this is why I wanted to write this blog to highlight that issues don't just suddenly go away, we may develop coping strategies and focus on the things we're good at and often find a different way of doing things but often people can still struggle with day to day tasks or need to take a lot of time and energy to carry them out which can lead to tiredness and fatigue it can also have a huge impact on self esteem and confidence. Each person has their unique neuro diverse profile and may have different overlaps or co-currences with other differences. That's why it's so important to ask the individual person to find out more.
Needing a little bit of help and support in life with whatever issues you might be struggling with is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about, and at the same time if you see someone who needs a little bit of help don't judge or make assumptions why without knowing the full story, if someone is trying that's the main thing. I always say my boyfriend is the organisation of the relationship and I'm the creative one. He helps me organise my life, and work out where I need to be and when and try his best to remember where I might of put things and I can offer creative and different ways to solving problems. It's important to work out what works for you, and use the strengths of the people around you. .
Day to day life can come into aspects of life like needing a seat to sit down on the bus or train as a lot of dyspraxics can struggle with balance and co-ordintion and the speed at some bus drivers drive at it's literally grip for deal life, but not everyone understands why. A lot of us can struggle in new environments or ones which have a lot of sensory issues, so it can take us a while to adjust and feel more comfortable and calm those anxiety levels down a bit and be able to socialise as situations can get very overwhelming for us. When people think of clumsiness in adults they often think it must be alcohol induced, the amounpt of times people have come up to me and assumed I must have had lots to drink. The dyslexic side of things might be miss reading signs got me into a few amusing situations, someone at my work's dyslexic husband misread their holiday destination and ended up booking a flight to the wrong place which caused them a lot of amusement at the airport. It all comes down to the invisibility of it all and sometimes I wish the outside world could see what is going on inside the brain so they could understand why.
Over time a lot of us do develop coping strategies to help manage these day to day issues and when you do be very proud of yourself, find what works best for you and fits in with your life and routines, keep trying and don't beat yourself up if you make a mistake, it might be a long road and a lot longer road but be proud of your determination and perseverance it's such an amazing quality to have, always be kind you never know what people are facing. If you see someone struggling in life no matter how old they are, go give them a hand don't walk by, you might just make their day a little brighter.
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