Thinking Out Of The Box

Firstly before starting this blog I want to say a huge thank you (again) to the lovely team at the Dyspraxia Foundation for giving me the Mary Colley award for my awareness work I do. I was very emotional on Saturday and had a very emotional mum too.


After my speech I had quite a few lovely parents come up to me and say that my story was very relatable to their children's and that they would ask their daughters to have a look at my blog (hello if you're reading this.) One of the common themes which was coming from the feedback from the parents was the realatability on my battle with my self esteem and confidence and self esteem especially in social situations.


In my speech I discussed how even though I was a friendly, polite, very kind child I would come home to my mum in tears because I was always the one who was never included or invited to parties because I was the different one in my class at the time I used to blame myself and think I must be a bad person for all of this happening.


I know from talking to many young people and their parents how many of them experience bullying because others don't understand their differences or how their brain is wired and how dyspraxia/dyslexia or any other difference effects them. It can have such a marked impact on self esteem and confidence often with life long effects. It's taken me a very long time to stop blaming myself for what happened to me and for the emotional wounds to heal and for me to feel comfortable in my own skin. If you ask my boyfriend what has been the biggest battle for me he would answer getting me to believe in myself.


I got asked in the questions after how as an adult now I feel confident in social situations and my answer was that even though sometimes I still find it hard, being with and finding the right people really helps, after coming home from Dypraxia Foundation Conferences or meet ups with other people who have experiences with dyspraxia/dyslexia I always find myself feeling really good about myself because I am with people who understand the battles I've faught, "get it" and see the positives and strengths. I also have the most amazing boyfriend who himself isn't the most confident of people but we boost each other, and tell each other we can do it. Positive words can make such a huge difference and have a huge impact. If you know someone who may be struggling even if you can't fully understand their battle a bit of empathy can go a long way.


To those who may be finding this blog relatable there is a little bit of hope out there and there are people out there who are understanding towards difference and see the amazing strengths and positives too, keep holding on. I always end my speech by saying each and every one of you is amazing don't let anyone tell you any different in life. Newly announced Dyspraxia Foundation patron Jamie from Callabro followed me on twitter after seeing I had won the award yesterday I squealed a little of happiness. Since then social media has been buzzing with dyspraxia awareness, I hope this is the start of good things and more understanding times ahead. Please have a read of Jamie's mum blog which she wrote about their journey with Jamie's dyspraxia (so relatable) https://yorkie007.wordpress.com/ Never Give Up :)

Hello :) I hope you are all well and enjoying the sunshine? On a Dyspraxia Facebook group the other day, there was a discussion on the importance of feeling proud of yourself for overcoming and achieving the little things.

Now the little things could be anything and once you break down the big things into more manageable chunks they can seem a lot less overwhelming. For a lot of people with dyspraxia/dyslexia one of the biggest struggles is self esteem and confidence which can be crippling and lead to anxiety and depression. But also I know so many non neurodiverse people who have the same struggles, we can be the first to beat outselves up, put ourselves down and focus on what we have done wrong. It can be very dificult to get out of that negative spiral way of thinking, it can almost feel like there is no escape and feel guilty for these. I was recently discussing this with my councillor and she was saying that if we are proud of the little things we can achieve it can give us the confidence to take the next steps and the next piece in the jigsaw.

It's really important to remember that these little steps are individual to the person, we all find different things more challenging or easier, we all have different things which we feel more confident or less confident in. What one person might find really easy another might find really hard. Never belitle someone for taking a long time to overcome something which took you a shorter time. Sometimes we have to put ourselves in other people's shoes we may not fully understand the battles they are facing but we can all offer compassion and kindness.
Sometimes we can feel like others are worse off than us and so belittle our own achivements. Everyone faces different battles- don't comapare yourself to others. I think if schools adapted these appraoches from a very young age it would have such a positive impact into adulthood and on confidence and selfesteem.

Here is a small list of some of the things which I am proud of doing recently (I don't find it easy to think positively about myself so there's a one already.) Sometimes writing things down maybe in a special book or whiteboard or on a piece of paper and put somewhere where you can see it can help remember when you feel down or aren't having a good day the little positive things which you are able to do. I am proud of myself for:

•  Writing this blog and saying positive things about myself 
• Dealing with changes in routine 
• Dealing with very hot and sensory tubes all week (bleugh) 
• Directing myself and a friend around London a few weekends ago and not getting us lost. 
• Being able to stay in my seat at summertime ball without having an anxiety attack/sensory overload 
• Having my article published in BDA conatct magazine 
• Rasing money for Mollie King's birthday fundraiser. 
• Overcoming shyness/anxiety to talk to new people in a new environment 

 Now what are YOU proud of? Have a lovely weekend whatever your plans are :) Smile :)

Last week British Dyslexia Association launched their phone line appeal which has been launched in response to the significant increase in enquiries they have experienced to date this year. At the current rate of call they anticipate receiving over 18,000 requests for help this year. This represents a 50% increase in demand.


I thought I would write a blog to explain from my personal perspective and experiences why every call matters and why Every £5 donation answers another call changes a life. Also one of my favourite people Mollie King has backed and supported the appeal- so a blog had to be written.


One of the biggest wrong assumptions I've heard growing up is that people with dyslexia/dyspraxia automatically get support and it's really easy to get help and support, but the reality for so many young people, adults and parents is that it's far from easy- it's actually a really huge battle.


Living in a world and society which doesn't meet your or your child's needs is a very isolating and lonely world, it can feel like you're a square peg trying to get in a round hole and can have such a determental effect on confidence, self esteem and wellbeing, it can make you feel stupid, worthless and that you have nothing much to give as society favours the things which you can struggle with and not praise the things which you're really good at such as: creativity and a different way of thinking. A lot of people with dyspraxia/dyslexia never see how amazing their brains are and what potential they have to be sucessful. It took me to the age of 27 to realise I had that potential and that I could give so much back, but it has always been an upheavel struggle.


My mum got told when I was a little girl that she was an over protective/anxious parent and that I was too clever to recieve help even though I struggled with the basic day to day tasks most take for granted and was being bullied because I was different to my peers. My mum felt isolated and alone and had nobody she could turn to as awarness where I live back at home always was and always has been shocking, it was a constant battle for her to get me the extra help and support I needed and for the teachers at school to see what potential I had to give. But luckily she came across The Dyspraxia Foundation and dyslexia charities and was able to talk to people who got it, understood her and understood me. These helplines are literally a life line to so many parents and young people and can make a huge difference, just to speak to someone who undrstands.


Sadly awareness for dyslexia/dyspraxia varies from town to town and in a lot of cases from school to school in a town, in some schools awareness is amazing but in some like some of the schools I've worked in it's been absolutley abismal and still in the olden days ripe with ignorance. To those with little understanding of dyslexia/dyspraxia a lot assume that there is an automacy in getting help and support. Then of course is the emotional difficulties so many children and young people go through and into adulthood and the impact it has on mental health. These helplines can help point people in the right direction where to go, how to access help and support and have a good knowledge themselves in what is covered.


In the Crowdfunder film you will see Olivia Loder (BDA young ambassdor- and recently followed on twitter by the lovely Mollie herself) and her dad Tim share their story and battle to get Olivia support and how Olivia is a huge inspiration to so many young people who have dyslexia, Jo Crawford another BDA ambassador and Julie who talks about her daughter Josie the film can be found here:

I was also very happy and excited to see Mollie King getting involved too alongside Everton footballer Steven Naismith, Mollie as many of you know is such an inspiration and role model to me and I know a lot of young people with dyslexia will also be inspired by her positivity and determination to not let dyslexia hold her back in life, and how she uses her status to raise awareness.
Mollie's film can be found:

To get involved in the crowdfunder appeal: http://www.crowdfunder.co.uk/bdahelpline-appeal
Also Dyspraxia Foundation helpline can be contated: 01462 454986 or download a poster from their website http://www.dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/


These helplines are a life line for so many people just like my family, by donating you really are making a difference.

Hello :) I've been wanting to write a blog like this for a while but simply never really had the confidence to write it, but now I'm in a lot better place in life I thought I would share some of my experiences as one thing I've learnt is how many other people there are like me so I hope it might help some of you. Here is my story about how I learnt to embrace my differences it's been a long personal battle/journey but I'm the happiest I have been in a long time.


Difference has been there all my life, and when I was younger it was never something I felt positive about. I always stood out like a sore thumb as I was so tall and so clumsy and un-cordinated, I could literally just touch something and it be smashed to pieces. It made me want to hide myself from the world as it lead me to so many embarrassing situations. I felt so self conscious, it made me want to stoop and hide my tallness and I used to beat myself up for making any mistakes. As said in my previous blog about s club 7 I had a lot of different interests to my peer groups and didn't feel like I fitted in and it made me feel really lonely and isolated.


It made me a target for bullies and I was constantly told by teachers that I needed to try harder and that my work wasn't up to scratch even though I was already working 10x harder than everyone else. It had such a negative impact on my self esteem and confidence. In my later teens I was also diagnosed with PCOS (which now thankfully is under control) which made me feel difference even more due to the physical effects of the symptoms it presented. I despised everything about myself which made me stand out and I began to self harm and use other ways of self distruction to try and change who I was. I never could imagine how anyone else could see me in a positive light and I was very self conscious and insecure.


Fast forward to the world of university and work where I was constantly being made to feel like I the way I did things was wrong and that I had to do things how everyone else did them and any tiny mistakes were made out to be huge issues. Again it had a huge negative impact on how I perceived myself in the world- I honestly believed at the time (I don't now) that there was no place for me in this world and the same self destructive behaviours reared their ugly head again.


But then something changed, it was after a particularly bad episode at work where I decided that I could fight or flight and that I could either feel sorry for myself or prove people wrong. I found the courage to seek professional help and became a lot stronger person and started to write this blog and get involved in charity work. I started to realise that there were so many other "Rosie's" out there either by meeting people themselves or by meeting parents who have children with dypraxia/dyslexia and whom have had similar battles as me. I found the determination to leave my job and realised that I was worth so much more than how I was the way I was being being treated. More than anything I've learnt to accept myself and accept myself that it's ok to be different, especially in a society which is constantly trying to make people fit in. My friend Hannah always says "be the Shepherd not a sheep." and I think that is so important. In the last few months since moving to London I've realised what a strength a different way of thinking is especially since I've had the confidence to take up opportunities. I've realised that being able to see the bigger picture and the sheer determination I've built but from struggles I've faced has been a huge asset when applying for jobs and helping me get in some amazing situations and opportunities.


Nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes and we have a unique purpose in the world. If you know someone who may seem a little bit different to you, please don't try and change them, unless what someone is doing is leading to hurting themsleves or other people or putting them in a vulnerable place in life, accept these differences don't judge someone for what they do with their time, money and who they are, we are all unique. This weekend I spent the day on a bus in Regents street as Mollie King invited me, my boyfriend and my amazing friend Claire on board to spend time with her and indulge in the free champagne and ice creams. One of the most surreal days of my life. Mollie even wrote me a very lovely motivating note and said how proud she was of me, genuinely one of the kindest, understanding people I've ever met in life, and it made me think I'm so glad I started to embrace my differences and make the decision to look after myself.


 I am now in the position in life where I can help other people help fight their battles and embrace their differences, both in my job and by doing the charity work I do. I will always stand up against bullying and ignorance and fight for the underdogs in life. I refuse to change who I am, my values and how I treat others to fit in, and will always stand up for the issues I believe in. To anyone who is reading this and feels different- it's ok and I'm so proud of you, keep fighting! I hope one day the world becomes  more tolerant and accept that people are different. Everyone deserves happiness.