Thinking Out Of The Box

I've just come back from the 4 most hectic weekends I've had in a long time, I've visited various cities      across the UK and caught up with friends I hadn't seen in a long time and even a friend who had flown all the way from Australia. I got to see my childhood idols perform and I also got the chance to spend quality time with my boyfriend and catch up with the lovely ladies at Dyspraxia Foundation and do some social media for them. Whilst it's been some of the best times I'm also shattered from it and physically and emotionally drained. It made me think one area which I had yet to cover in my blogs has been tiredness and fatigue and also how people can have difficulties switching off and going to sleep at night due to overthinking  which can then have a knock on effect on tiredness. From speaking to a lot of other people with hidden differences and disabilities and seeing comments from parents with dyspraxia it seems quite a common issue and I think it's something which can be quite misunderstood as plain laziness.

Continuing on from the last blog about finding people who "get it" it's made me reflect on how much life has changed and from finding people who "get it" has allowed me to overcome obstacles in day to day life, in my working life and within myself and how I'm now in a position to help other people who may be experiencing similar.


Dyspraxia/dyslexia will always make things a challenge, it always has and it always will be, but it doesn't mean things have to be impossible. Growing up at school and later in life, I got told I would never be able to achieve much, that I wouldn't be able to hold down a job or get far in life. Those negative assumptions made about me were wrong and I have a good job which I love, and academically achieved a masters degree. All the negativity and ignorance I've faced has made me determined to prove people wrong, get far in life and change a negative into a positive. To show to others that there's more to Rosie than my labels and to aim high.


The things which I've been most proud of overcoming are the little things which many take for granted, like being able to cross a busy city road, being able to organise my life or being able to direct myself to work without getting lost. Never in a million years did I think I would be able to go on the tube to work on a daily basis, it isn't easy but instead of getting into a flap when things go wrong I have strategies to help me. Before I left to move to London my mum was noticeably worried as mum's do on how would I cope in such a busy city and be aware of myself and my surroundings, whilst not loosing myself or any objects on me. Whilst it has been difficult I'm proud of how I've coped, I'm able to live independently but have an amazing boyfriend who constantly gives me support and guidance. I'm very grateful to my mum for teaching me the basics which most people can do naturally like be able to use an iron, or chop food without chopping your fingers off, or clean and make sure it looks like you've done a good job. Whilst I'm still not perfect at doing these at all and it takes me 10x longer to be able to do them to a good standard, I have strategies to help me cope again my strategies to anyone else probably look quite interesting, but it's my way of doing things. Dypraxic people like to take the scenic route in life.


But the biggest obstacle I've had to face is within myself, believing in myself and having confidence in myself and my abilities. Realising I deserved positive coping strategies instead of self destructive ones. It will probably always be my biggest obstacle and is always a work in progress for me, but slowly I am on the journey of being more positive about myself and how I see myself and showing myself kindness which I was ever so willing to show to other people but never would give to myself. I was constantly beating myself up, over thinking and worrying about everything I could possibly do wrong. But I'm proud of myself for how far I've come on that journey and grateful to the people I've had around me. Realising you're worthy of love and help is the first step to feeling better.


Overcoming these obstacles has given me so much understanding which I can transfer into my job and to other people who may need. I can give others understanding of their difficulties but also encouragement to overcome them. When you know that people have made the time to have an understanding of you, it improves self esteem, confidence and the ability to develop strategies. Time and patience can go along way in supporting a dyspraxic/dyslexic person.


To anyone who may be struggling in life time is a healer and with the right help, support and understanding anything is possible.

I've just come back from one of the most exhausting but exciting weekends I've had in a long time, I got to see my childhood idols  S club 7, I also got to do the social media for The Dyspraxia Foundation and spend time with friends who I hadn't seen in a long time. It got me thinking about life and the people I know and how things can change for the better you just have to hold on.

In previous blogs I've talked about how lonely, confusing and isolating it can feel feeling different to everyone else. That's why to me personally it was so important for me to to a good job, it's so important that the word gets out on social media, so people know the realness of a hidden difference, especially those which are not well known such as dyspraxia.

 I've never been a confident person and often can affect my anxiety and how I perceive myself and worry that I'm going to mess up or make an idiot of myself- the what ifs. The night before I felt quite poorly with anxiety which coupled with the excitement of  seeing the set list for the tour- I mean who doesn't get excited over the thought of Rachel Stevens doing a solo section. My chest felt like someone had put a huge rock on it and my fingers were numb with pins and needles and from shaking so was panicking how on earth would I be able to type all day (I think it's so important people are aware of the physical effects of anxiety and how they can affect someone.) I had accidentally directed myself to the wrong hotel and was in a bit of a Rosie flap. One thing I've found about dypraxia is how deeply we feel emotion, when we're excited we feel it, when we're anxious you know it,  when we worry it will bother us for hours, when we're happy we're bouncing off the walls and when we're sad you feel the sadnes too. Which for some situations in life is brilliant, it means we can be very empathetic, and loyal.

But when I arrived I was greeted with so much warmth, the ladies told me not to worry and calm myself down and that I would do a good job. The day was amazing and I would really recommend you going  to a conference if you want to find out more about dyspraxia. Throughout the day I laughed along as many of the powerpoints were about me especially how little things such a leaving your phone behind can be so overwhelming for a dyspraxic/dyslexic it can throw us off. Sally Payne talked a lot about from her research how dypraxia effects teenagers and the links between dyspraxia and anxiety and depression and how a lot of people get scared of making mistakes.  95% of people with dyspraxia feel anxious, and 40% of people with dyspraxia feel anxious all the time, wih it being mental health awareness week this week it's so important that people understand these things. She also talked about finding your niche and doing things which you enjoy which can help the emotional effects.

Back in the day it was never cool to like s club, I used to get told by people I would never meet them and was called all kinds of not nice things for being a fan of them, their music helped me through some hard times and helped me beat the people who bullied me and didn't understand why I was so different and Rachel and Hannah and Jon inspired me, I honestly don't know where I would have been in life without them. This time round life life has changed so much and I've overcome a lot of goals in life. But what meant the most was spending time with people who got this. If you don't look up to a celebrity it's hard to explain what they have done for you or how they have made you smile, especially though hard times. I met people who I had been wanting to meet in years and caught up with friends from a far- even a friend coming all the way from Australia .

Which leads me onto a little bit of a guest paragraph from my friend Clairey who some of you may know, this is the first time she has talked about these in hope it might help others. From spending time with her I've realised we've had some similar experiences and even though she has no formal diagnosis of dyspraxia or more towards the autistic spectrum a lot of her feelings are similar to mine she is one of the kindest people I know and one of the most creative. It's so important that we don't judge or assume, you never know how someone might struggle in life especially when it's invisible. In her own words:

I  do worry what people think of me, I find it hard to write things down and worry about what people think of me before they meet me and worry about it afterwards and it can make me shaky and feel sick.  I'm clumsy and eye contact scares me and being with a lot of faces and being with a lot of people can scare me too. It means I only focus on people who I feel most comfortable with and it's not me being rude it's who puts me at ease that's why I tend to focus on one person when I meet them in a group as I struggle to communicate with them. Despite all of this she's so determined she never gives up, and even though the world can be a terrifying place for her which she doesn't  understand she keeps going and puts herself in situations she hates. Determination is such a huge strength for many people who have hidden differences.

This is something which I can personally relate to  especially growing up, my mum always used to tell me that's she was the person I only felt confident giving eye contact too and I can pin point starting to being a worrier right back to nursery school,  and I think it's easy for many people to take for granted the ability to communicate confidently with ease and worry.  But sometimes people need that chance, that little bit of understanding, to know it's ok to be a little bit different. We need to talk about hidden differences, it's nothing to be scared of or ashamed of, the more you talk the more people will know what is happening on in the brain. A little time to crack open that shell to make us feel socially comfortable, it really honestly makes a huge difference on confidence levels. I hope from sharing my personal experiences it can help Clairey feel more comfortable in a world which at times can seem quite scary to us with a different way of thinking. Clairey is at the beginning of the long journey of understanding why she is the way she is,  but with the right help, support and understanding she'll go far in life. Luckily for me I have an amazing boyfreind and I have a boss for the first time undertands the emotional challenges as well as the more physical ones and tries her best to help boost my confidence.  There are people who "get it" there are people who understand,  just keep holding on and if you don't have a hidden difference, you may not completely get it but a little bit of kindness and empathy can go a long way in life.

Hello :) I hope you are all well and have had a good week, this weeks blog focuses on being mindful both out in real life and social media. A lot of my previous blogs have focused on understanding and the importance of it. Being mindful whilst as well as being understanding is about being aware, of your words you actions and how they might affect people. Sometimes you have to step back and look around and appreciate how different and diverse the world, each person is different and unique. You never know what someone might be going through, what they find easy, what they might struggle with, what their strengths might be, you never know who might have an invisible difference, disability or illness and how it might effect them.


On my journey to work one day this week my balance and spacial awareness were awful, I was wobbling all over the place couldn't keep still and had zero awareness of myself in the space I was in I was typically having a very dyspraxic day, my balance and co-ordination and awareness of myself in a space has never been my forte in life, if you've ever met me I'm sure you'll have picked up on that. As my balance has always been a struggle  as a child I could literally fall over thin air and you'd never get me going ice skating or ski-ing done it once never again! I've always needed to feel safe, so need to hold onto something whilst on a bus or train whilst it is moving, on uneven ground, going up and down stairs especially in crowds and large groups of people. Luckily when I'm out and about with my boyfriend as well as being nice and holding my hand, it can act as a balance aid helping me get on and off trains, go up and down stairs and genuinely any situation where I feel unsteady on my feet. Maybe that will be a surprise to some of you who know us well.  But when I'm on my own things can be a little bit more of a challenge, even though I've lived in my home all my life I still grip the banister for dear life when I go up and down the stairs and I've had a few falls over the years involving twisting ankles which left me feeling very anxious and understandably wary, but it does mean I've had to develop coping strategies which include taking my time, making sure there is nothing in the way on stairs at home and lots of practise.


But on Tuesday I was accidentally banging into people or accidentally getting my bag in the way or accidentally loosing my footing and standing on peoples toes. Even though I profusely apologised and my cheeks were a glowing shade of red, I still got glares, tuts and looks of disapproval and got asked in a very rude manner to stop being so careless and look where I was going. This hasn't been the first time it's happened and even though it is upsetting and in the past has made me very self conscious, insecure and loose my confidence it's strengthened me and my attitude how to treat others with respect.


That's just one aspect of dyspraxia in my previous blogs I've talked about the more emotional, sensory and anxiety side of things. When I get very anxious I get very literal and my body movements get very jerky or I start pacing around many people probably wonder what on earth is going on but it's my body/brains reaction to being overwhelmed, or I can go very quiet and into myself  and not make eye contact which means it can be misconceived as rudeness. It's so important however frustrating or mindfull it is when someone might do something it's important to mindful, as sometimes people simply can't help being the way they are, it's just how our brains are wired. We don't mean to upset or make anyone feel uncomfortable just sometimes we don't have control of what our bodies are doing. The same goes on social media, you never know who might have a hidden difference on there, you might think someone posts about a specific interest constantly, or sometimes they might have spelling mistakes or how the way that they are phrased, some people are very open about why the way they are, but it's also so important to remember that some people are very private and choose not to disclose.


 Be aware about what could affect someones self esteem, confidence, be kind, say something which can make someone smile and feel good about themselves. Try to have an open mind see how diverse the world is, try not to be judgemental. Be the best version of yourself online and offline, treat others how you would be want to be treated yourselves, we're all only human and have insecurities whether theres a label behind it or not. We all need some understanding once in a while.