Firstly by the time some of you are reading this blog, my overall blog will have reached 40,000 views which in all honesty seems quite surreal. I'm so so grateful to every single view, I just hope my story and experiences will have helped some of you out there or someone you know. I started this blog in a not very good place in life and am proud of myself for how far I have come (I always have struggled with writing to). I hope my blogs have opened some eyes to what living with a neurodiverse invisible difference can effect day to day life, helped people understand the emotional and social effects and most importantly highlighted the many strengths, thank you.
Been finding a lot of people especially from the Dyspraxia Foundation Adult Facebook page and a lot of parents seem to be wanting advice and support about about the emotional side to dyspraxia, the highs and the lows my mum and boyfriend always call it. I have briefly touched on assertiveness in quite a few of my previous blogs but thought it was something which needed covering in more depth as it's something I've always struggled with over the years. I pride myself on being a nice, kind hearted and genuinely good natured person think I've definitely got that side of me from my mum.
I'll give my up most to try and be kind and positively help someone through what struggles they might be going through in life and that will never change. But one thing I've noticed throughout life is not everyone is as nice as me, and sometimes I'm too nice for my own good which has lead to me getting in quite emotionally upsetting and anxious situations. Sadly not everyone understands the wiring of the neurodiverse brain, especially the social aspects which can come from it. Dyspraxic people are quite trusting people and literal thinkers as are people on the autistic spectrum, it means without the right coping strategies we can be quite vulnerable to abuse and bullying or "banter" as a lot of it is called on social media these days. Please if you're reading this and think it's a bit of banter to make someone with a hidden difference out to be someone they're not or take advantage of their kindness please take a step back and think how much literal thinking can have such an emotionally devastating effect, think before you type and speak and be mindfull if you see it happening to others have the confidence to help someone if you think they're in trouble it could help stop something serious happen to them.
Moving to London has made me realise how much you need to be assertive of yourself and your possessions, city life is just go go go, and you realise how much you need to be aware, no zoning out, you realise that not everyone is kind, you meet some interesting characters to say the least and how to make sure your belongings are safe. It's not easy especially with spacial awareness, poor sense of direction and sensory issues, but it's almost forced upon yourself to develop more coping strategies.
I think a lot of assertiveness comes hand in hand with confidence and self esteem, and believing in your values and who you are as a person, I've never found this easy and it's still a conscious daily battle, but you will feel so much better and hopefully safer. It makes me so angry that there are people that would take advantage of others out there, the world would be a better place with more kindness but we have to be honest and accept it for what it is, and how to protect ourselves. Here are a few strategies which I've learnt/been told to myself over the years I hope some of them might help some of you/someone you know.
1. Have belief in yourself that you are who you are and that if someone can't make the effort to get to know you properly or understand how your brain is wired or why you do something the way you do, then it's their ignorance it's not your fault.
2. Nobody has the right to make you feel uncomfortable or do things which make you feel uncomfortable, it's ok to say no, it doesn't mean you're a bad person. You're a human being you cannot be expected to do everything perfectly all the time.
3. Talk to someone for a second opinion if you think you're being taken advantage of and ask for a more rational explanation and go from there.
4. Literal thinking can be hard to manage especially if you get yourself worked up in a state, take a few minutes calm yourself down and do some self care.
5. Turn your phone off- social media can bring the best and worst out of people, it can be an incredibly positive thing, help people make friends, help raise awareness or support for a cause or artist and when people join together it can be incredible. It can also bring out a jealous, anonymous side out of some people especially where celebrity culture is concerned. Step back from anything or anyone which makes you feel uncomfortable, you have the right to feel happy online as well as offline.
6. Being assertive doesn't mean being angry or make you a nasty person, sometimes it can help rehearsing or writing down little phrases which can help in difficult situations. Such as "you have no right to talk to me like that." It's really hard and not easy especially if it doesn't come naturally to your nature.
7. Choose people to be around which make you happy and bring out the best of your unique personality.
Wednesday 25 March 2015
Tuesday 17 March 2015
No two people are the same
I put out a request on the Dyspraxia Foundation adult Facebook page the other day if anyone had any requests for blogs for me to write to help people the most, and one which became very popular was that a lot of people felt that there needs to be more awareness ofn the fact that no two people identified dyspraxic will be the same, have the same strengths, weaknesses, quirks. It really got me thinking. I've worked with so many people with additional needs over the last 9 years in mainstream and special school environments. Each child has been unique and to me that is so fascinating and one of the reasons I love my job so much.
In a class or even a work place there might be more than one person identified as being dyspraxic, dyslexic, have any other hidden or physical difference. They will all have their own specific profile, no two being the same. Some might not struggle at all at ball sports but fund fine motor skills excruciating painful, someone might have handwriting like the hieroglyphics, but another have beautiful handwriting which someone has written very painfully slowly. There are levels from mild to severe but we should not treat anyone any less or more based on that and make sure children and adults get the right help they need to the right way they learn. It's also so important that we see past any stereotypes and assumptions.
It's really easy and it's happened to me before for people to say things like "but my friend is dyspraxic but ok with that why do you still struggle with it" often it's not necessarily out of malice, but can be quite damaging if we don't look at someone as an individual. In jobs I've often been seen as the person with dyspraxia/dyslexia where people have looked at all the symptoms and assumed everything was me and I would never get any coping strategies, safe to say that was not a good way for me to develop strategies. Whilst it's really important that others especially teachers are aware of the basics which a lot of people with dyspraxia or dyslexia may have in common. Dyspraxia Foundation, Dyslexia Action and British Dyslexia Association all have on their websites and in their centres a whole range of pamphlets and information about different strengths and weaknesses someone may have. I think it's important even if you don't know someone who is identified it's good to have a general knowledge- you never know who you might meet in life. The same comes for things such as mental health: no two people will be exactly the same, we all live different lives, have different backgrounds have different circumstances.
We all disclose differently too, some people choose to disclose information about issues on social media, some don't choose to all, it doesn't mean someone is struggling any less or more by what they disclose and they shouldn't be judged by that. I would never discuss the more private issues on social media or even on this blog, doesn't mean they've never been there just I think you've always got to be wary on social media on who can see what and don't trust everyone (I've learnt the hard way on that so has made me wary who to disclose to.) Also s much as celebrities are great ambassadors for the cause don't compare someone's strengths and weaknesses in comparison to a celebrity.
Take me and my boyfriend Matt (who will be blogging later in the week) even though not diagnosed dyspraxic, has quite a few similar traits to me and probably if got tested maybe identified as dyspraxic too, he struggles a lot more socially than me and can get quite anxious in new settings. But what makes things work is how we balance the strengths and weaknesses they compliment each other. My sense of direction is hopeless but Matt knows the London rail network really well and remember times and dates we need to be places. He struggles to order at a bar, or make telephone calls, but we can find strategies to help each other. When I get anxious it can be every physical (shaking, bad tummy etc) but with Matt when he's anxious he can just go really quiet or appear quite blunt ( he's a big softie I promise.) I can be a very literal thinker but he can be quite a realist, so we can help each other through situations and go around the country seeing many lovely faces we know. Even if we do both run late and aren't the tidiest of people and good at remembering where we've put things but then there's never a dull moment. Most importantly we both have a lot of understanding and empathy for each other and other people too.
My friend Hannah wrote a blog about how making comparisons can be quite damaging to our self esteem, even though we often do it without realising, we don't like to accept compliments or can often see ourselves as the weaker person. Hannah's blog can be found here: https://hannanarscrawls.wordpress.com/2015/03/16/lets-not-compare/ well worth a read and some very wise words so do check it out. I've always been bad for comparing myself to others whether it be looks or personality or just me and then letting it effect my confidence and self esteem. I'm getting better at it though and positive blogs like Hannah's do help.
Advice
- Get to know the person and find out their strengths/weaknesses
- Have an open mind
- Make sure it comes from the person themselves
- See past the label
- See past misconceptions and stereotypes
- You're an unique individual embrace it
- You might not be good at everything but there will always be something you will be.
- Do things at your own pace and let others go at their own pace too
- Set realistic achievable goals
- Don't always judge on what is or isn't put on social media
- Do things your way
- Smile :)
Friday 13 March 2015
Dyspraxia embracing the positives
After attending The Dyspraxia Foundation conference last Friday, it was such an inspiring day, and I met/caught up with so many incredible individuals who had some link to dyspraxia all with a unique story to tell, often maybe not the happiest of story but with a twinge of happiness which comes to the end. Whilst I think it's really important that people understand what dyspraxia is and other neurodiverse differences are and how much it can effect day to day life, it's so important that people understand what people can do and can achieve and be successful in life, you hear so many sad stories from people saying to them they won't make everything of their lives, or won't live independently, and much more ignorant statements. People can often just see a label or assume because someone takes a while to achieve a goal or milestone it means they'll never reach it or assume we want everything doing for us (what rubbish!!)
All too often, there are so many individuals and families living with dyspraxia who have experienced misunderstandings or faced judgemental attitudes based on misinformed stereotypes of what the differences are such as: dyspraxia is just clumsiness.There is still so much stigma which exists because they are invisible differences- just because they can't be seen doesn't mean they're not there. A lot of people are still scared of difference, scared to get to get to know people, or ask questions often assuming people are a bit odd, careless, or don't take care of themselves without seeing the bigger picture and finding out what is going on in the brain
Once you do it's nothing to be scared of infact it's something quite fascinating because alongside the struggles are the strengths, the creativity, the thinking outside the box, the different way of thinking, the empathy and understanding for others and the sheer determination that nothing will stop us in life.
I have had the pleasure of meeting many hugely intelligent, insightful, kind, caring, loyal, skilled other dyspraxic people and their families, who are successful, living independently, in long term relationships, who have enlightened my conversations, brought something different to the table, and whom I've often laughed until my tummy hurts when we share the quirks and funny stories which happened over the years. Quirky is good, quirky should be embraced.
We may take a while to come out of our shell socially and be quite quiet at first but once we do, we can be some of the loyal friends you ever have and can provide different solutions to problems in the workplace, we always have your back and will never let you down, you know you can trust us and we'll try our very best to see the positives. We might struggle with organisation and memory and be running late, but we'll never let someone down, we'll always make the effort and take the time to do the little things which can make a difference.
Our amazing long term memories mean we can remember what people like and can put personal touches to gifts and presents and cards, we can be quite thoughtful and pay attention to the small details which can make someone smile. We know what it's like to struggle to feel alone, to feel like nobody understands us, so we'll fight for any injustice or ignorance we see, we'll try and be that person who makes the differences and is there for someone whatever life hits them, not jsut the positives and the good but know that life can be difficult sometimes and be there whatever time of day or night we genuinely do care.
We know what it's like to feel different so it makes us very open minded and non judgemental we see past someones struggles and don't care about the shallow things in life like how much your handbag costs, how perfect your hair and make up looks or how many shots you can down, we see the bigger picture and see someone as the person. If we know someone has a specific need or struggle in life we'll try and find as much as we can about it so you don't feel alone.
We also know how to laugh at ourselves and that can bring so much amusement to a conversation. Our handwriting might be all over the place and spelling not perfect but ask us how to us how to help you on the computer or how to use an app on the phone and we're your person. It may take us longer to learn to master a task or remember instructions, but do it in a way in which we learn and we can achieve academically to high standards and are very hard workers, and have a lot of pride in the work we do and care (even if it doesn't look like it sometimes.) Once we're passionate about a cause or an interest there's nothing which will hold us back, we're so determined to follow things through and make that difference (hello Mollie fundraiser) Things might be frustrating at times, anxiety might take over sometimes but when we know someone understands we're so so grateful for your help and support and helping us think more logically. We have goals, dreams places we want to see and achieve just like you do.
So much damage can be done by ignorance and misinformation. We need to start changing assumptions and percptions by more people knowing what dyspraxia is, it's so important that we see the person, the positive qualities they have then what they might struggle with, the best way to develop an understanding of dyspraxia is to listen to those who are dyspraxia, their families and friends. If you're lucky enough to know someone who is dyspraxic if you have a dyspraxic in your class or know someone in the workplace, embrace the humour, charm, and sprinkling of creative thinking they bring to your life and to all the dyspraxics reading this blog smile :) you're incredible!
All too often, there are so many individuals and families living with dyspraxia who have experienced misunderstandings or faced judgemental attitudes based on misinformed stereotypes of what the differences are such as: dyspraxia is just clumsiness.There is still so much stigma which exists because they are invisible differences- just because they can't be seen doesn't mean they're not there. A lot of people are still scared of difference, scared to get to get to know people, or ask questions often assuming people are a bit odd, careless, or don't take care of themselves without seeing the bigger picture and finding out what is going on in the brain
Once you do it's nothing to be scared of infact it's something quite fascinating because alongside the struggles are the strengths, the creativity, the thinking outside the box, the different way of thinking, the empathy and understanding for others and the sheer determination that nothing will stop us in life.
I have had the pleasure of meeting many hugely intelligent, insightful, kind, caring, loyal, skilled other dyspraxic people and their families, who are successful, living independently, in long term relationships, who have enlightened my conversations, brought something different to the table, and whom I've often laughed until my tummy hurts when we share the quirks and funny stories which happened over the years. Quirky is good, quirky should be embraced.
We may take a while to come out of our shell socially and be quite quiet at first but once we do, we can be some of the loyal friends you ever have and can provide different solutions to problems in the workplace, we always have your back and will never let you down, you know you can trust us and we'll try our very best to see the positives. We might struggle with organisation and memory and be running late, but we'll never let someone down, we'll always make the effort and take the time to do the little things which can make a difference.
Our amazing long term memories mean we can remember what people like and can put personal touches to gifts and presents and cards, we can be quite thoughtful and pay attention to the small details which can make someone smile. We know what it's like to struggle to feel alone, to feel like nobody understands us, so we'll fight for any injustice or ignorance we see, we'll try and be that person who makes the differences and is there for someone whatever life hits them, not jsut the positives and the good but know that life can be difficult sometimes and be there whatever time of day or night we genuinely do care.
We know what it's like to feel different so it makes us very open minded and non judgemental we see past someones struggles and don't care about the shallow things in life like how much your handbag costs, how perfect your hair and make up looks or how many shots you can down, we see the bigger picture and see someone as the person. If we know someone has a specific need or struggle in life we'll try and find as much as we can about it so you don't feel alone.
We also know how to laugh at ourselves and that can bring so much amusement to a conversation. Our handwriting might be all over the place and spelling not perfect but ask us how to us how to help you on the computer or how to use an app on the phone and we're your person. It may take us longer to learn to master a task or remember instructions, but do it in a way in which we learn and we can achieve academically to high standards and are very hard workers, and have a lot of pride in the work we do and care (even if it doesn't look like it sometimes.) Once we're passionate about a cause or an interest there's nothing which will hold us back, we're so determined to follow things through and make that difference (hello Mollie fundraiser) Things might be frustrating at times, anxiety might take over sometimes but when we know someone understands we're so so grateful for your help and support and helping us think more logically. We have goals, dreams places we want to see and achieve just like you do.
So much damage can be done by ignorance and misinformation. We need to start changing assumptions and percptions by more people knowing what dyspraxia is, it's so important that we see the person, the positive qualities they have then what they might struggle with, the best way to develop an understanding of dyspraxia is to listen to those who are dyspraxia, their families and friends. If you're lucky enough to know someone who is dyspraxic if you have a dyspraxic in your class or know someone in the workplace, embrace the humour, charm, and sprinkling of creative thinking they bring to your life and to all the dyspraxics reading this blog smile :) you're incredible!
Monday 9 March 2015
Dyspraxia/dyslexia and anxiety strategies and advice
On Friday I stood up and spoke infront of loads of unfamiliar faces and some which I knew very well at the Dyspraxia Foundation workshop in Birmingham (more about that in a later blog) the thought of that terrified me. One thing I've realised over the last few months how many people with dyspraxia/dyslexia also have anxiety, up until a few years ago I thought it was just me being silly and everyone was a bit anxious (which is true) but when it started to cripple me and hold me back from the things I loved and enjoyed. After the incredible overwhelming response from my last blog which focused on the emotional side of neurodiversity, I thought it was a good idea to keep writing blogs to raise awarenes of the emotional side of things but also some coping strategies for the person who may struggling with anxiety and the people around them as I know a lot of people don't know what to do and feel a little bit powerless. As with all of my blogs even though I may mention specific differences in this blog I hope they may help anyone who may struggle with anxiety and hopefully bring a little bit of calm in your life. If you are really struggling, there's lots of professional help out there which can help. You're stronger than you think you are!
I'm going to now list and talk about some of the situations people with dyspraxia/dyslexia can feel anxious in and hopefully my (tested) strategies might help a little, anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about neither is any other mental health issue
Change: A lot of dyspraxic people hate change, we can have little routines in our heads of what is happening today, tomorrow, next weekend, we're also very visual thinkers which means those routines can be very visual on the positive when we are passionate about something we really are passionate about it and it makes us so determined. But any break in that routine can make us scared and anxious and a bit tearful and for a lot of parents that can be hard to deal with. My advice is to plan ahead as much as you can, if a change is going to happen don't just drop the change onto someone, help the person through the fears of the unkown and help to rationalise their thoughts.
New environment: A new environment can be very overwhelming for a lot of dyspraxics as we worry about getting lost, and making sense of it all, big changes such as starting a new job or changing schools can be overwhelming. Try and find as much as you can about what/where you're going first, maybe have a look at google maps, take little steps so you aren't overwhelmed.
Sensory Overload: That can be noise, smell, taste, heat, light, for me it's mainly noise and heat, and if it can be the combination of the two it can make me feel very uncomfortable, when I first commuted to London all the sensory issues used to make me feel physically sick every morning and unbarable. Try if you can to avoid routes or situations which you know wil make you struggle sensory wise, bt sometimes it needs to be done, make sure you use breathing techniqes, listen to music, find some kind of distraction, I find closing my eyes on the tube helps when it gets really busy (maybe just me on that one) make others aware it can be distressing for you and how they can help.
Crowds of people: Again related to mainly sensory issues but also spacial awareness, many dyspraxics don't like crowds of people and it can make us feel really uncomfortable, again try and plan where you're going, explain to those around you, and try and have a strategy for getting some air or what to do if it all gets a bit too overwhelming.
Getting lost/loosing items/running late: A lot of parents will probably find they worry about their dyspraxic/dyslexic child loosing themselves or loosing what they have my mum was the same. But there are apps which can help such as find my friends app, or use the photo camera on phone to take photos of the routes, plan ahead and try and have specific places for important things e.g house keys, bus pass, phone, try and have a bag with a strap on it, if things happen they do, they happen to us all, in reality what could the worse thing which could happen, if things do happen it doesn't have to be a huge deal. A lot of dyspraxic and dyslexic people struggle with time management and are often running late and are prone to procrastination, this is something which is true to me still but try to plan ahead it makes thing a little less chaotic
Social environments: As a dyspraxic you're very wary you do things differently to other people, maybe just who you are, how your body moves, you might struggle with social skills, it can make us feel anxious before social gatherings we can worry what might go wrong, the best advice I can give to that is spend time with people who get it, who understad you and who bring out your strengths and see the positives.
Confidence/self esteem: Probably the biggest factor in a lot of anxiety in people with dyspraxia/dyslexia, our self worth, worrying if we've upset others, worrying if we've messed up or done a good job, constantly putting ourselves down and seeing the very worst of ourselves and beating ourselves up, some people can also struggle with depresssion. This can stem from negative experiences in the past, but don't let them control you, spend time with people who build you up and if you know someone who needs building up, don't pressure yourself, praise and reward yourself, look after yourself, you're a unique, wonderful person be kind to yourself you deserve it, stop beating yourself up and think of all the positive things about yourself.
I'm going to now list and talk about some of the situations people with dyspraxia/dyslexia can feel anxious in and hopefully my (tested) strategies might help a little, anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about neither is any other mental health issue
Change: A lot of dyspraxic people hate change, we can have little routines in our heads of what is happening today, tomorrow, next weekend, we're also very visual thinkers which means those routines can be very visual on the positive when we are passionate about something we really are passionate about it and it makes us so determined. But any break in that routine can make us scared and anxious and a bit tearful and for a lot of parents that can be hard to deal with. My advice is to plan ahead as much as you can, if a change is going to happen don't just drop the change onto someone, help the person through the fears of the unkown and help to rationalise their thoughts.
New environment: A new environment can be very overwhelming for a lot of dyspraxics as we worry about getting lost, and making sense of it all, big changes such as starting a new job or changing schools can be overwhelming. Try and find as much as you can about what/where you're going first, maybe have a look at google maps, take little steps so you aren't overwhelmed.
Sensory Overload: That can be noise, smell, taste, heat, light, for me it's mainly noise and heat, and if it can be the combination of the two it can make me feel very uncomfortable, when I first commuted to London all the sensory issues used to make me feel physically sick every morning and unbarable. Try if you can to avoid routes or situations which you know wil make you struggle sensory wise, bt sometimes it needs to be done, make sure you use breathing techniqes, listen to music, find some kind of distraction, I find closing my eyes on the tube helps when it gets really busy (maybe just me on that one) make others aware it can be distressing for you and how they can help.
Crowds of people: Again related to mainly sensory issues but also spacial awareness, many dyspraxics don't like crowds of people and it can make us feel really uncomfortable, again try and plan where you're going, explain to those around you, and try and have a strategy for getting some air or what to do if it all gets a bit too overwhelming.
Getting lost/loosing items/running late: A lot of parents will probably find they worry about their dyspraxic/dyslexic child loosing themselves or loosing what they have my mum was the same. But there are apps which can help such as find my friends app, or use the photo camera on phone to take photos of the routes, plan ahead and try and have specific places for important things e.g house keys, bus pass, phone, try and have a bag with a strap on it, if things happen they do, they happen to us all, in reality what could the worse thing which could happen, if things do happen it doesn't have to be a huge deal. A lot of dyspraxic and dyslexic people struggle with time management and are often running late and are prone to procrastination, this is something which is true to me still but try to plan ahead it makes thing a little less chaotic
Social environments: As a dyspraxic you're very wary you do things differently to other people, maybe just who you are, how your body moves, you might struggle with social skills, it can make us feel anxious before social gatherings we can worry what might go wrong, the best advice I can give to that is spend time with people who get it, who understad you and who bring out your strengths and see the positives.
Confidence/self esteem: Probably the biggest factor in a lot of anxiety in people with dyspraxia/dyslexia, our self worth, worrying if we've upset others, worrying if we've messed up or done a good job, constantly putting ourselves down and seeing the very worst of ourselves and beating ourselves up, some people can also struggle with depresssion. This can stem from negative experiences in the past, but don't let them control you, spend time with people who build you up and if you know someone who needs building up, don't pressure yourself, praise and reward yourself, look after yourself, you're a unique, wonderful person be kind to yourself you deserve it, stop beating yourself up and think of all the positive things about yourself.
Wednesday 4 March 2015
Dear Rosie, a reflective blog for my younger dyspraxic/dyslexic self
My lovely friend Hannah who writes really inspiring positive blogs which can be found here https://hannanarscrawls.wordpress.com/ did a self reflection blog and I loved the idea and concept especially if like myslef you don't find it easy to look at the positives about yourself. As I am speaking at the Dyspaxia Foundation Conference in Birmingham and will be doing a lot of reflecting and sharing of aspects of my life I thought writing them down would be beneficial. At the time some of the bad things we go through are awful and we feel like nothing positive in life will happen, but as time goes on we can make them into positive ones and reflect on how they have strengthened you. I hope this blog may be some hope or help to anyone or anyones parents who may have had similar struggles. Keep fighting!
Dear Rosie,
You probably feel like you stick out like a sore thumb, you wish you weren't so tall and clumsy and could do everything everyone else takes for granted, your legs and arms don't want to work together, you're always falling over and seem to trip over thin air, you feel so embarrassed when you're always the last to be picked for a team or always miles behind everyone else when you run or run like a duck. Well Rosie one day you'll agree to do a 10k run around the Olympic Stadium not once but twice, you still might run a bit like a duck or it might not be something you enjoy doing, but you find exercise you enjoy to help you do it. A ray of sunshine will come into your life by the name of a border collie called Toby who can run for miles, he will give you the confidence to keep going, you will find some inner determination to show people wrong and what people with dyspraxia can overcome.
You probably feel like life is just simply disoragnised chaos and overhwhelming, you can't find anything, you keep loosing things, it makes your mum really anxious because she thinks she's going to go through the red lights because you're running really late or you're going to miss a train, sometimes she has to play chase the bus because you've missed the bus. The thought of living independently and having lots of changes overwhelmes you, your head just feels like spaghetti. Well Rosie, organisation and time management still might not be your forte in life and you're still known to procrastinate a bit, but one day you will move to London, get three methods of transport to work each day and even though it sometimes doesn't go to plan you know how to manage a little bit better. You've moved a long way from home and you are coping just fine and are being able to go to new places by the week, your mum's anxiety levels as a result are not constantly on tender hooks.
I know you don't feel very positive about yourself or how you look, you don't understand how people can be so ignorant and cruel why can't people just be kind? It makes you feel worthless and stupid, and you feel crippled to speak and worry about every little detail in life, you just want to feel happy again,you don't think there is much hope out there. You just feel like nobody understands you and you feel so different from everyone else from how you are to the music you listen to. Well well well one day you'll find a man called Matt who completley unknown to you in your younger years was running a Steps website -who would have thought! He will give you the undertanding and positivity you need, and be there in your times of darkness. He will give you the confidence to get help and take opportunities, he loves your quirks, the things about yourself you hate and will try and find out as much about you as you can. You both will travel the length and breadth of the UK and make many a adventures seeing people you care about and seeing new cities and towns, you will never let anything hold you back in life. You realise that not everyone will ever understand you but it's not your fault and you realise ignorance is usually found because people don't know what hidden conditions are and need more teacher training and awareness. One day you will write lots of blogs to help others and raise awareness and meet people as passionate as you, you will have the confidence to speak out and turn a negative into a positive. You'll also not be scared to speak and will do a presentation infront of lots of people at the dyspraxia foundation. Oh and Rosie, one day s club 7 will reunite and you'll have friends who love them as much as you to go with. You might even get the chance to meet them.
I know you feel like you have to work 10x harder than everyone else and everything takes you so much longer, it makes you feel stupid, your handwriting and cutting out is so messy and you struggle to spell, people just don't get your way of learning, you love to be creative but all people focus on is how things aren't done right or in a tidy way. Well one day with people you're close with you'll make these amazing birthday books for someone in the public eye you admire called Mollie, she has had some of the similar struggles as you and is a huge inspiration to you. Mollie will appreciate your creativity and you will get the opportunity to give them to her in some amazing situations. You also find out that she keeps them on a shelf to keep for years to come and it boosts your confidence so much. All the hard work will pay off you will get a Masters degree and find a boss who understands you, doesn't care about your handwriting or presentation but who you are as a person, who builds you up and helps you find hope again.
Stop beating yourself up, you are not all the negative things you say about yourself, life will never be easy but it's made you so determined, you will make a difference and hopefully help people along the way, you will be understood!
Keep going,
Love Rosie xxx
Dear Rosie,
You probably feel like you stick out like a sore thumb, you wish you weren't so tall and clumsy and could do everything everyone else takes for granted, your legs and arms don't want to work together, you're always falling over and seem to trip over thin air, you feel so embarrassed when you're always the last to be picked for a team or always miles behind everyone else when you run or run like a duck. Well Rosie one day you'll agree to do a 10k run around the Olympic Stadium not once but twice, you still might run a bit like a duck or it might not be something you enjoy doing, but you find exercise you enjoy to help you do it. A ray of sunshine will come into your life by the name of a border collie called Toby who can run for miles, he will give you the confidence to keep going, you will find some inner determination to show people wrong and what people with dyspraxia can overcome.
You probably feel like life is just simply disoragnised chaos and overhwhelming, you can't find anything, you keep loosing things, it makes your mum really anxious because she thinks she's going to go through the red lights because you're running really late or you're going to miss a train, sometimes she has to play chase the bus because you've missed the bus. The thought of living independently and having lots of changes overwhelmes you, your head just feels like spaghetti. Well Rosie, organisation and time management still might not be your forte in life and you're still known to procrastinate a bit, but one day you will move to London, get three methods of transport to work each day and even though it sometimes doesn't go to plan you know how to manage a little bit better. You've moved a long way from home and you are coping just fine and are being able to go to new places by the week, your mum's anxiety levels as a result are not constantly on tender hooks.
I know you don't feel very positive about yourself or how you look, you don't understand how people can be so ignorant and cruel why can't people just be kind? It makes you feel worthless and stupid, and you feel crippled to speak and worry about every little detail in life, you just want to feel happy again,you don't think there is much hope out there. You just feel like nobody understands you and you feel so different from everyone else from how you are to the music you listen to. Well well well one day you'll find a man called Matt who completley unknown to you in your younger years was running a Steps website -who would have thought! He will give you the undertanding and positivity you need, and be there in your times of darkness. He will give you the confidence to get help and take opportunities, he loves your quirks, the things about yourself you hate and will try and find out as much about you as you can. You both will travel the length and breadth of the UK and make many a adventures seeing people you care about and seeing new cities and towns, you will never let anything hold you back in life. You realise that not everyone will ever understand you but it's not your fault and you realise ignorance is usually found because people don't know what hidden conditions are and need more teacher training and awareness. One day you will write lots of blogs to help others and raise awareness and meet people as passionate as you, you will have the confidence to speak out and turn a negative into a positive. You'll also not be scared to speak and will do a presentation infront of lots of people at the dyspraxia foundation. Oh and Rosie, one day s club 7 will reunite and you'll have friends who love them as much as you to go with. You might even get the chance to meet them.
I know you feel like you have to work 10x harder than everyone else and everything takes you so much longer, it makes you feel stupid, your handwriting and cutting out is so messy and you struggle to spell, people just don't get your way of learning, you love to be creative but all people focus on is how things aren't done right or in a tidy way. Well one day with people you're close with you'll make these amazing birthday books for someone in the public eye you admire called Mollie, she has had some of the similar struggles as you and is a huge inspiration to you. Mollie will appreciate your creativity and you will get the opportunity to give them to her in some amazing situations. You also find out that she keeps them on a shelf to keep for years to come and it boosts your confidence so much. All the hard work will pay off you will get a Masters degree and find a boss who understands you, doesn't care about your handwriting or presentation but who you are as a person, who builds you up and helps you find hope again.
Stop beating yourself up, you are not all the negative things you say about yourself, life will never be easy but it's made you so determined, you will make a difference and hopefully help people along the way, you will be understood!
Keep going,
Love Rosie xxx
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