Saturday 22 November 2014

Don't surrender, don't you change.

Firstly a huge thank you to everyone who has read my previous blog I really hope it helps
some of you. I hope this blog reaches out to a more wider audience although it will touch on dyapraxia or dyslexia I hope anyone will find it useful. Last weekend I attended the Dyspraxia Foundation confernce in Bristol and one of the presentations was on self esteem and confidence and in it Gill Dixon talked about her lovely son Joe and how we shouldn't change people to fit in and afterwards I thought oooh this could be a blog topic.

Wherever you look these days celebrity culture is everywhere on TV, magazines, reality TV programmes, social media, we 're always given a constant image of perfection whether it be how people look, or behave or are as people. To the every day normal Person that can be quite overwhelming if you have any kind of hidden condition whether it be learning, mental or medical or a more physical issue it can be even more overwhelming. We live in a world where sometimes to be seen as an exciting person you have to look a certain way enjoy getting completely trollied on a night out or fit in lots of differnt ways (too many for me to list.) If you don't enjoy doing x,y, z activity you're seen as a boring person who doesn't enjoy to socialise. In reality I think this is so so wrong and can lead to a lack of confidence, self esteem and mental health issues and eating disorders.

Whilst there's nothing wrong at all for enjoying the things I've just listed I'm partial to a cocktail or two myself there's nothing wrong if it isn't you, and I know from my personal experiences how many times I've been in tears or really anxious and felt worthless because I've been made to feel left out in social situations because my interests or my dyspraxic quirks haven't fitted in with evteryone else. People assume you'll automatically cause a fuss or an issue or want to go home early or a burden on the situation. The result can be very painful both physically emotionally and for a lot of people it can have a deep psychological effect. Another thing which was brought up in the conference was saying sorry and how a lot of people who have some Kind of difference end up apologising all the time even for things which aren't their fault it's like its almost the blame is automatically put on them because they might not have the confidence or assertiveness to Stand up for themselves again this can have a deep effect on the person a lot more than what you think it might do. I think It's so
Important to remember that not everyone verbalises or says when they're feeling hurt or upset as they don't want any attention drawn to them.

If you're one of the people who I've been describing it's ok, you're not alone, there's so many other activities and fulfilling opportunities you can enjoy which may not always be what society classes as the 'norm' maybe not even age specific. I used to love going to Aqua aerobics when I was younger as it really helped with my co-ordination 99% of the people who went were older than my mum and retired. The first session I felt like a bit of a lemon but it was something which I really got into and the jacuzzi after was an added bonus. Find things you like to do and social occasions you enjoy. Even though I find some social situations difficult and quite anxiety provoking Ive found situations where I feel comfortable.

Please please don't try and change someone, you have no idea the damage it can cause, accept people for who they are, widen your social horizons see the bigger picture. You never know what someone could give to your social group if you gave them a chance and time to get to know them. There's a whole world out there other than the world of celebrity, there's so many incredible people out there who aren't celebrities. Choose the celebrity's you look up to wisely the amount of times I see people tweet x celebrity makes me sad because of how perfect they are. Should the celebrities we like really make us sad? Are we liking them for superficial reasons? Surly the person/ people you like should be there to have a positive influence on your life and motivate you to achieve your goals and dreams in life. You are all beautiful even if you don't look like evryone else we are all unique human beings we are all different not clones or sheep of each other. Don't look down on someone unless you are helping to bring them back up. Often it's the girls who look like what society deems beautiful who are called beautiful and pretty all the time, why not tell all women they're beautiful or pay them a compliment it could do wonders for their self esteem and confidence. Just to be acknowledged often the people who are acknowledged all the time already know how beautiful they are some women never get told they are. The most beautiful thing isn't necessarily how someone looks it's what's in the inside someone can have a beautiful heart. We should never ever forget about inner beauty.

If you are lucky enough to be different embrace it, it can be so hard in a world which is so ignorang against difference, fight against it be proud of yourslelf, and if you're one of these people reading this now I'm proud of you to cope in a world like it does today takes a lot of inner strength and determination. Keep being you and don't try and change others.
In the words of Nicola Roberts "wouldn't it be wrong if we were all
The same, don't surrender don't you change."




Saturday 15 November 2014

Now I'm a warrior

Next week is anti-bullying awareness week, I thought I would be ahead of myself and write a blog about it, as this blog really encompassess's a lot of charity work I do and a lot of the reasons why I do a lot to raise awareness. This is probably one of my more personal blogs and by no way am I sharing some of these examples for attention or poor you the complete opposite to hopefully open people's eyes, I will also in a few weeks be meeting Demi Lovato after my boyfriend had a moment of madness and booked us and a friend m&g. I will hopefully be able to give her a copy of this blog in person I hope this blog can give hope and maybe comfort to others, like I say in all of my blogs if it helps one person then it's been a job well done.

A lot of people assume people with a hidden condition such as dyspraxia or dyslexia can't struggle with associated mental health difficulties or with confidence and self esteem, people assume the main reason's main struggles is their reading or spelling or co-ordination. I hope this blog will make others more aware.

I became aware I was different when I was 4 years old as I was really tall still am and really clumsy, still that also, I was always the last person to be chosen for p.e the person who people didn't want on their team. It made me stand out like a sore thumb and others took advantage it was from that very Young age I became self conscious and insecure, I thought I was fat compared to my peers even though I was just naturally really tall. A lot of dyspraxic people
are literal thinkers it has brought many humerous social occasions, but it also means if something is said to me negatively I will take it literally so it will completely eat me away. This shy child became an even shyer teenager I began a negative path of self destruction both mentally and physically. I'm fully aware a lot of young people read my blogs so I'm not going to go into any detail about this as I don't want young people to see my ways of dealing with things as good ways to cope.
Bullying doesn't always have to be name calling although as a teenager I was probably called every insult you can imagine, but I think the type can do the most psychological damage is the hidden kind, the type a lot of people call banter, the sly little digs, the more emotional effects, again when you're a literal thinker you can imagine the negative brain processes.

Fast forward quite a few years to two years ago I was to begin a new job, I was excited but nervous about the challenge and was excited about the prospect to meeting new people, but how wrong could I be I felt differnt from the moment I walked through the door and lots of sly snide comments about the difficulties I had, I developed extreme social anxiety and couldn't speak and for anyone who knows me well that's a huge deal im always talking, I was so scared of messing up or making an idiot of myself infront of others and was very self conscious. After an incident where I was called a bad role model I went to my boss and I got told again they were unable to support my needs, this pattern of self destruction happened again and I fell into depression. My mind was constantly telling me how worthless and stupid I was and how I didn't deserve any help, I
Was constantly helping others. I lived each day in fear, crippled and sometimes bed bound of anxiety because I was terrified of making mistakes. You've all got the drift by now and I think this blog takes a positive turn, after I was off work for a while after a bad experience which im not going to describe in depth as is too painful to think of. I saw mollie king on the cube she talked about how her differences were helping her win a lot of money, she talked about how she struggled with memory and needed to find otherways to do things as morbid as it sounds it probably saved my life and added with some motivating notes given to me and an incredible boyfriend and supportive family sook professional help.

From then I decided I was worth more than this all, I made a decision to get a new job and move to london to be nearer my boyfriend, I started raising awarenss for charities and organising fundraisers and attending conferernces and writing this blog. Since I have moved down to London I have been on Islam tv, had an article published in SEN magazine and a YouTube video for dyslexia action. I have also attended the Houses Of Parliament where I attended an awareness event for the dyspraxia foundation, with the support of the help I was getting I was determined to proove people wrong, it's made me so much more determined to change a negative into a positive and ovet come and deal with the day to day challenges hidden conditions possess, I can get transport around london on my own. Today I attended the dyapraxia foundation conference in Bristol and I was on a powerpoint display as positive role models for dyapraxia it's a huge honour and I'm still in belief to be honest. Although I have a long way to go in managing the issues which have been a result of my expeiriences but I am determined to completely recover. Who's laughing now, as an added bonus mollie saw my video and I was able to tell her how much she had helped me at a meeting last week.

 I hope people can see how you can change an incredibly painful expeirnce in life and turn it into a positive and you can stop the pattern of self destruction, you're worth more than that please seek help if you're self destructing there are people who can help you. Please please think how your words can effect people what may be seen as banter night ahve a deeper effect on Someone, please try and undertand those who may be slightly different to you, see the many positives, the creativity the unique sense of humour, the thinking out of the box thinking.  Nobody deserves to be bullied for being different in any way shape or form.
To come back to Demi: Now I'm a warrior and you can never hurt me again.

Thursday 13 November 2014

Dyslexia Awareness Week 2014- Creativity & Dyslexia Bloomsbury Insitute Event

Last Thursday I attended an event put on my The British Dyslexia Association at the Bloomsbury Insitutiute. It was a dark, windy, wet Thursday evening, London was alight with twinking glowing after London Oxford Street Christmas lights had been switched on. My boyfriend Matt sighed with relief as we realised his route finder had guided us to the right building. Inside we were welcomed and showed to our seats and I greeted Emma who does all the social media for The British Dyslexia Assiociation. The evening was to celebrate creativity and dyslexia.Children’s authors Tom McLaughlin and Sally Gardner ( both who are dyslexic)  were to explore  dyslexia, its links with creativity and how it impacts on their ideas and their writing. Dr Kate Saunders was present to interview the authors and discuss why they feel dyslexia should be seen as a gift rather than a disability, how we can all support and encourage reluctant readers and how parents and teachers can identify and support dyslexic children early on. 

I had been looking forward to the event for some time, any event rasising awareness is definately an event I enjoy to attend especially focusing on creativity as it's always been one of my strengths.  The event started with a question and answer session by Dr Kate Saunders where members of the audience were asked to stand up and ask the authors questions about their own experiences of dyslexia and as authors. Both authors read extracts from their most recent books which was recieved with most delight from the audience.
I have selected some of my favourite quotes from both authors from throughout the evening which sum up the imporance of awareness needed for dyslexia and also help explain the positives. A lot of people think because they aren't dyslexic it isn't an issue to them, you never know who you might meet who is dyslexic in life.

'Im fed up of people telling me they are dyslexic with bowed heads! Stand up and be proud!
This is what Sally Gardner told the audience which is so true so many people even in this day hide they have some kind of difficulty or difference, Sally saying this gives others hope that they can open up and others will understand them.

When talking about their own personal experiences both authors discussed how dyslexia should not be a barrier to writing, especially as an adult, and if you struggle with spelling it shouldn't stop you writing, explore how creative the mind can be in your own way.
"You don't need to spell to be a writer." Tom McLaughlin said and Sally Gardner
I was born with a head full of stories, but I could only spell cat, bed and sun."

Tom and Sally both put an emphasis on teacher training and speaking out about dyslexia being heard so people can get talking about it, so people can get the help and support they deserve.
"Teachers need more training, awareness, support" Tom told the audience then he added; "
Keep on shouting, keep on being heard on bringing the dyslexic community together."
I really enjoyed the event, it was a great way to spread awaress and get people who have similar interests in the same room, such a good feeling when you're surrounded by people who "get it" Thank you to all for such a lovely evening and I hope to attend more events in the future.

Tuesday 4 November 2014

Dyslexia Awareness Week 2014- Dyslexia Matters

It's come round to that time of year again where it's dyslexia awareness week each year there is a theme, this years is dyslexia matters. Some of you reading this blog will be thinking "But I'm not dyslexic, why should it matter to me?"

 Dyslexia matters to you, me, everyone out there, everyone at some point in their lifetime across all walks of life whether it be school, college, university, work will meet people who have dyslexia, when you watch your favourite TV show or listen to your favourite artist, there is a good chance one of them might be dyslexic too. As it is a hidden condition you never know who you might walk past in the street might be dyslexic or of course have any other hidden condition or struggle. At some point in life a dyslexic might help you for support in some shape or form maybe not just with reading or spelling but maybe with remembering instructions, directions, time keeping, general organisation of day to day life. You never know who is dyslexic so it's so important to have an open mind and show a little bit of understanding and empathy. Understanding is a common theme of my blogs and I think it's so vital. A little bit of understanding goes a long long way and can give someone a bit of a confidence boost no matter who they are. Focus on the positives focus on the many incredible things people can do. When you focus on someone's strengths you never know just what a positive effect they can have just as you never know the power of negative words. Words can hurt, a lot of dyslexic and more dyspraxic people can take words literally, it's a bit of a joke between me and my boyfriend how much sometimes I take people and situations literally. Words can have a massive result on confidence, self belief and sometimes leading onto mental health issues too.

It's time we celebrated difference, it can be such a positive thing, celebrate the differences in the people and what they can achieve. A lot of dyslexic people have to work 10x harder than everyone else to sometimes do day to day tasks that most simply might take for granted, life can often have that spaghetti feeling or feeling of chaos. But to get through that takes a lot of determination and resilience especially when faced with ignorance or adversity. But with the right help and support people can do whatever they like in life. Now from reading all of this do you see why dyslexia matters? Dyslexia matters to me because I would not be Rosie without it, it's helped me get to where I am in life and given me the strength and determination never to give up no matter what life has hit me. Here is a video which I did for Dyslexia Action at Easter on why dyslexia and dyspraxia matter to me I also talk about how Mollie King from The Saturdays has inspired me. Please share both the blog and video to help anyone you might know and help raise awareness of the cause and week.




Things take time

Hi everyone I hope you're well? I first began to write this blog back before the first lockdown and have recently got around to re-editi...