January is the time when we all start to feel a bit down the excitement of Christmas and new year has passed and the weather is really rubbish outside so I thought I'd write a blog how to help people feel happier at times like this. Some of us find it harder to be more positive what ever the time of year but I thought I'd give some tips that might help people's emotional well being and times like this more bearable hope it helps some of you,
1. Talk to people, it's often the thing that so many of us find the hardest because we don't want to bother people or be a burden on them but talking really does help to get things off your mind and feel relaxed. A little simple chat with a family member or friend can give you that little pick me which can give you that boost in your day. Don't be scared to open up people understand more than you think.
2. Treat yourself, doesn't have to be something expensive or cost any money at all but take some time out for you maybe buy some new make up or clothes or some new bath stuff so you can have a long soak. Or just have time out with a film munchies or music and maybe a glass of wine and chill out , turn the phone off, I pad or laptop off and just relax.
3. Go for a walk, I'm lucky that I have a dog who loves being walked all day or night if he could but even if you don't just getting out there and having some fresh air and letting your brain unwind really helps.
4. Write a blog, I've been blogging for over a year or so now and it's a really good way to express your views on issues that you're passionate about and I'm rally grateful for all the positive feedback I've had so far thank you so much it.
5. Write a list of all the positive things about you and the things you're grateful for, some of you reading this might think but there's not much positive about me I'm xyz, but have a deep think maybe you're a really good listener or always making people laugh or have fab hair or eyes write all of these down and all the things you're grateful for and stick it on a place where you're likely to see it maybe next to your bed or on your mirror then you can see it every day.
6. Find some positive quotes or inspiration, I'm loving Demi lovato's book ATM I love all the positive quotes every day and the little positive paragraph to go with it and would really really reccomend it. We all are inspired by someone or something everyone relates to people in slightly different ways. What I find helps is to write down the quotes of the person you look up to or maybe read an interview or video which they've done to help give you strength and positivity and make you smile a bit. I think I must know mollie kings dyslexia action video word perfect now I've watched it so many times to be inspired. Never let someone judge who you're inspired by too a lot of people never got why I was inspired by mollie. But never let what others think effect how you look up to people.
I hope it helps people be a bit more positive please let me know any feedback lots of love to all.
Saturday 25 January 2014
Monday 20 January 2014
You are worth more than to hurt yourself
I thought I'd do another blog on quite a sensitive issue, hopefully to help people out there and provide understanding on a topic which I think a lot of people have knowledge about but few people truly understand.
With the increase of mediums of social networking such as twitter, intagram etc self harm has become a topic of debate over the last few years. Some people may see it as attention seeking and it may be a copied way of coping behaviour, but for many many people it's a lot more sensitive and deeper issue where people are often scared and ashamed to revel what for many people is a secret to the outside world. So I decided to write this blog to offer some comfort and support to those who may be suffering especially those suffering in silence.
Life can be very hard for everyone at times we all feel like we're living in an emotional roller coaster at times with many highs and at the same time many lows. Sometimes our brains especially those who maybe suffer with low self esteem, confidence or mental health issues. Maybe you are being bullied and don't see any way out or maybe you feel different to the people around you. Whatever your circumstance please don't feel like you're on your own. Even though you may feel like you deserve to think negatively of yourself or are trapped in a vicious cycle which you're struggling to get out of. From personal experience I know how hard is to almost re train your mind from negative thoughts about yourself. but you deserve not to out yourself through pain, nobody is perfect and everyone mistakes once in awhile but never be ashamed of your past and what you're experiencing now. Please if you have negative thoughts have the confidence to confide in someone you trust even if it's only one person. Sometimes it can feel like there's a sea of judgemental people out there but there are people who understand what you're going through. Don't be ashamed of seeking medical help of you need it to feel better. If you do have urges maybe go for a walk, listen to music, do something which you enjoy and that makes you happy easier said than done I know. But most importantly as a friend always have an open understanding mind, and try not to judge what others are experiencing and how they cope.
You are not alone, there are others who want to help you, do not be ashamed of you or your experiences. You deserve to be happy, healthy and most importantly you, you are a unique person there is only one of you out there. There is light at the end of the tunnel no matter how hard it seems but please keep battling on your story is not over yet.
With the increase of mediums of social networking such as twitter, intagram etc self harm has become a topic of debate over the last few years. Some people may see it as attention seeking and it may be a copied way of coping behaviour, but for many many people it's a lot more sensitive and deeper issue where people are often scared and ashamed to revel what for many people is a secret to the outside world. So I decided to write this blog to offer some comfort and support to those who may be suffering especially those suffering in silence.
Life can be very hard for everyone at times we all feel like we're living in an emotional roller coaster at times with many highs and at the same time many lows. Sometimes our brains especially those who maybe suffer with low self esteem, confidence or mental health issues. Maybe you are being bullied and don't see any way out or maybe you feel different to the people around you. Whatever your circumstance please don't feel like you're on your own. Even though you may feel like you deserve to think negatively of yourself or are trapped in a vicious cycle which you're struggling to get out of. From personal experience I know how hard is to almost re train your mind from negative thoughts about yourself. but you deserve not to out yourself through pain, nobody is perfect and everyone mistakes once in awhile but never be ashamed of your past and what you're experiencing now. Please if you have negative thoughts have the confidence to confide in someone you trust even if it's only one person. Sometimes it can feel like there's a sea of judgemental people out there but there are people who understand what you're going through. Don't be ashamed of seeking medical help of you need it to feel better. If you do have urges maybe go for a walk, listen to music, do something which you enjoy and that makes you happy easier said than done I know. But most importantly as a friend always have an open understanding mind, and try not to judge what others are experiencing and how they cope.
You are not alone, there are others who want to help you, do not be ashamed of you or your experiences. You deserve to be happy, healthy and most importantly you, you are a unique person there is only one of you out there. There is light at the end of the tunnel no matter how hard it seems but please keep battling on your story is not over yet.
Monday 13 January 2014
Dyspraxia, anxiety and me.
This is quite a personal blog to me and it's quite hard to write but I hope in by opening up to help other people as I know both are really common issues and hopefully by opening up it may help people understand why I maybe do things sometimes the way I do.
A lot of people assume that a lot of my difficulties lie with dysexia, as I have quite strong links with the Charity Dyslexia Action and am taking part in a course training to (fingers crossed) become a a specialist teacher to help others especially children who may have been experiencing the same difficulties I have and yes I do have dyslexic difficulties but my main struggles in life have been with dyspraxia. Something which not too many people have heard of. Or think of as just somebody being clumsy- my legs are a nice shade of deep brown at the moment (who needs fake tan when you have bruises!)
It's also meant that I've had many experiences with anxiety both in general and socially, on social media, out in the real world it's always seems to crop it's head at the most inconvient of places, especially as you're going to bed. A lot of people get anxious, and worry about things wheather it be about work/school or college or about a situation which you have no control over. Severe anxiety at times can feel like someone's punched you in the stomach and left it churning, your brain can't see any sense and your head is filled with self doubt and worry.
Mental health issues are often exist with learning issues and I hope this helps anyone who experiences, either or both. One of the main difficulties with dysraxia is balance it can feel like you sometimes have no control over your body, it can do anything it wants too and doesn't do as your head might tell you. Another biggie is organisation and time management, as often it can feel like you're living in chaos with so many things to try and take control of. Also fear of being "different" to the outside world, I hate the word normal and think as much difference should be embraced, a lot of people through fear of being judged fit in and are scared as being seeing different. I think difference is really important and in the long run when applying for jobs and in lots of situations in the outside world can really be a bonus. As a child I was very un-coordinated especially when I walked or ran, I used to find going up and down stairs difficult as I stuggled to balance, even now I always without fail have to hold onto the rail and take my time, making busy railway stations quite difficult. Ive also always struggled with spacial awareness, which is basically making sense of myself in relation to other people and objects. I'm that awkward person you see in a busy street when everybody is shopping who always has to say sorry when I bump into people. It's also meant learning to drive has taken me a lot longer to have the confience to do, the thought of trying to steer something into a small space or try not to run people over or run down animals. It all can be very anxiety ridden, and a lot of fear of the unknown. But it's something I'm determined to do in the long run and something which I know will give me the biggest confidence boost.
Fear of the unknown is one of my biggest issues I always over think and wonder what if might hapen especially if it's a new situation or one which I've not experienced in a long time. I always dread the first day back to work after a holiday as I have fear of the unkown about what might happen. Even though in reality most of the time it's ok. I was experiencing such bad anxiety at work last year that I was too anxious to speak and often used to sit in the staffroom at lunch fear of what I was going to say was going to be stupid or I'd embarrass myself infront of everyone. I also was experiencing some panic attacks on my way to work which for anyone who's reading this who's experienced them they aren't very nice things. The worst aspect about anxiety is the overthinking the plauguing yourself with self doubt and worry about who you are as a person and a fear of upsetting someone or hurting someones feelings. Growing up I used to really struggle standing up for myself I used to be scared I'd say the wrong thing or scared I'd hurt someone elses feelings. This is something which I strugge with today and often find it hard to see when someone may be taking advantage of me but slowly I'm starting to have the confidence to do it. When you have a panic or anxiety attack it can be a very scary experience it can feel like your heart is beating out of your chest and you can't get air everything can feel weird in the past I've had times where I've been so anxious I got pins and needles in my face/hands.
A lot of people with dyspraxia, and a lot of people without dyspraxia can struggle with social anxiety that can have a lot of different difficulties for different people, some people might struggle answering the phone, giving eye contact, going into shops, speaking infront of people to name a few. Every day to day things a lot of people take for granted. I hate speaking on the phone and will try and avoid it unless it's speaking to my boyfriend or mum or needs to be done. A few months ago I phoned radio 1 to speak to Mollie King from the satudays and ask for some advice, I felt so anxious my hands were shaking. Being open about my difficulties due to past bad experiences has always something I've felt anxious about, fear of being judged and people not understanding. But I was proud of myself for doing it and overcoming my fear and the advice really helped me. Talking about Mollie I remember once before meeting her at radio one having a full blown anxiety attack because I was worried she would be like oh it's her again or think what I made for her was a whole load of rubbish and want to bin it. Anxiety can be very weird at times and crop up really when you don't expect it.
There has been such a rise in social media over the last few years and in lots of ways it can be a really positive thing and connect a lot of people together who have shared interests.A fair number of people with dyspraxia and other related conditions have difficulties with controlling emotions. I know that, for me personally, when someone or something makes me feel bad, my mind has a tendency to fixate on it for a long period of time.
It can be extremely hard to “switch off” from that when the way that your brain works is to continually focus on what has been said so that it goes round in a never ending loop, rather like a stuck record. This is why people should consider what they are saying before they say it as a trivial comment can often cause someone who has problems regulating their emotions untold distress and anguish. Remember online you're only hearing someone communicate by typing you dont hear any verbal communication or body language. You don't know a full person by how they are on the internet or what else they may be dealing with in real life.
Here are some tips I have which work for me which may help you or a family member or friend.
Have someone to talk to who understands what you're going through who knows the triggers and knows when you're feeling anxious.
If you struggle with severe anxiety going to the doctors to can seek help can be beneficial as there are lots of professionals who are there to help you. This is something which has helped me a lot.
Think what could the worse thing that could happen if it's not going to be that bad have the confidence to go from it.
Have things to do which you find relaxing such as listening to music or swimming maybe or art.
It's ok sometimes not to be ok.
Try and limit social network usage if your anxiety is bad.
Most importantly never judge someone and how their behaviour is before understanding a situation or knowing them take the time to understand and don't assume. Anxiety can often make people come across in a way because they feel stressed or panicked or may use avoidance strategies to get out of situations which may be difficult.
On a personal note these last few months I've been trying to get well myself and as much as I love and adore helping lots of different people I've had to put myself first a bit which has been something which I've found hard. I can't always be helping people, and I have to prioritise who I help too. So please if it takes me a while to respond or if I'm absent from social media for a while etc please understand. It's important to me to feel well again and have the confidence to achive my dreams. I'm determined not to let anxiety hold me back in life and stop me enjoying the things I love doing. It's going to take a while and won't be easy but I have an incredible understanding boyfriend who has been there by my side. I really hope this blog has helped anyone who has been struggling with either condition and hopefully made people aware of the realness of anxiety and how it can effect people on a day to day basis and please try not to judge people till you're aware of their situation.
Please feel free to contact me with any comments.
A lot of people assume that a lot of my difficulties lie with dysexia, as I have quite strong links with the Charity Dyslexia Action and am taking part in a course training to (fingers crossed) become a a specialist teacher to help others especially children who may have been experiencing the same difficulties I have and yes I do have dyslexic difficulties but my main struggles in life have been with dyspraxia. Something which not too many people have heard of. Or think of as just somebody being clumsy- my legs are a nice shade of deep brown at the moment (who needs fake tan when you have bruises!)
It's also meant that I've had many experiences with anxiety both in general and socially, on social media, out in the real world it's always seems to crop it's head at the most inconvient of places, especially as you're going to bed. A lot of people get anxious, and worry about things wheather it be about work/school or college or about a situation which you have no control over. Severe anxiety at times can feel like someone's punched you in the stomach and left it churning, your brain can't see any sense and your head is filled with self doubt and worry.
Mental health issues are often exist with learning issues and I hope this helps anyone who experiences, either or both. One of the main difficulties with dysraxia is balance it can feel like you sometimes have no control over your body, it can do anything it wants too and doesn't do as your head might tell you. Another biggie is organisation and time management, as often it can feel like you're living in chaos with so many things to try and take control of. Also fear of being "different" to the outside world, I hate the word normal and think as much difference should be embraced, a lot of people through fear of being judged fit in and are scared as being seeing different. I think difference is really important and in the long run when applying for jobs and in lots of situations in the outside world can really be a bonus. As a child I was very un-coordinated especially when I walked or ran, I used to find going up and down stairs difficult as I stuggled to balance, even now I always without fail have to hold onto the rail and take my time, making busy railway stations quite difficult. Ive also always struggled with spacial awareness, which is basically making sense of myself in relation to other people and objects. I'm that awkward person you see in a busy street when everybody is shopping who always has to say sorry when I bump into people. It's also meant learning to drive has taken me a lot longer to have the confience to do, the thought of trying to steer something into a small space or try not to run people over or run down animals. It all can be very anxiety ridden, and a lot of fear of the unknown. But it's something I'm determined to do in the long run and something which I know will give me the biggest confidence boost.
Fear of the unknown is one of my biggest issues I always over think and wonder what if might hapen especially if it's a new situation or one which I've not experienced in a long time. I always dread the first day back to work after a holiday as I have fear of the unkown about what might happen. Even though in reality most of the time it's ok. I was experiencing such bad anxiety at work last year that I was too anxious to speak and often used to sit in the staffroom at lunch fear of what I was going to say was going to be stupid or I'd embarrass myself infront of everyone. I also was experiencing some panic attacks on my way to work which for anyone who's reading this who's experienced them they aren't very nice things. The worst aspect about anxiety is the overthinking the plauguing yourself with self doubt and worry about who you are as a person and a fear of upsetting someone or hurting someones feelings. Growing up I used to really struggle standing up for myself I used to be scared I'd say the wrong thing or scared I'd hurt someone elses feelings. This is something which I strugge with today and often find it hard to see when someone may be taking advantage of me but slowly I'm starting to have the confidence to do it. When you have a panic or anxiety attack it can be a very scary experience it can feel like your heart is beating out of your chest and you can't get air everything can feel weird in the past I've had times where I've been so anxious I got pins and needles in my face/hands.
A lot of people with dyspraxia, and a lot of people without dyspraxia can struggle with social anxiety that can have a lot of different difficulties for different people, some people might struggle answering the phone, giving eye contact, going into shops, speaking infront of people to name a few. Every day to day things a lot of people take for granted. I hate speaking on the phone and will try and avoid it unless it's speaking to my boyfriend or mum or needs to be done. A few months ago I phoned radio 1 to speak to Mollie King from the satudays and ask for some advice, I felt so anxious my hands were shaking. Being open about my difficulties due to past bad experiences has always something I've felt anxious about, fear of being judged and people not understanding. But I was proud of myself for doing it and overcoming my fear and the advice really helped me. Talking about Mollie I remember once before meeting her at radio one having a full blown anxiety attack because I was worried she would be like oh it's her again or think what I made for her was a whole load of rubbish and want to bin it. Anxiety can be very weird at times and crop up really when you don't expect it.
There has been such a rise in social media over the last few years and in lots of ways it can be a really positive thing and connect a lot of people together who have shared interests.A fair number of people with dyspraxia and other related conditions have difficulties with controlling emotions. I know that, for me personally, when someone or something makes me feel bad, my mind has a tendency to fixate on it for a long period of time.
It can be extremely hard to “switch off” from that when the way that your brain works is to continually focus on what has been said so that it goes round in a never ending loop, rather like a stuck record. This is why people should consider what they are saying before they say it as a trivial comment can often cause someone who has problems regulating their emotions untold distress and anguish. Remember online you're only hearing someone communicate by typing you dont hear any verbal communication or body language. You don't know a full person by how they are on the internet or what else they may be dealing with in real life.
Here are some tips I have which work for me which may help you or a family member or friend.
Have someone to talk to who understands what you're going through who knows the triggers and knows when you're feeling anxious.
If you struggle with severe anxiety going to the doctors to can seek help can be beneficial as there are lots of professionals who are there to help you. This is something which has helped me a lot.
Think what could the worse thing that could happen if it's not going to be that bad have the confidence to go from it.
Have things to do which you find relaxing such as listening to music or swimming maybe or art.
It's ok sometimes not to be ok.
Try and limit social network usage if your anxiety is bad.
Most importantly never judge someone and how their behaviour is before understanding a situation or knowing them take the time to understand and don't assume. Anxiety can often make people come across in a way because they feel stressed or panicked or may use avoidance strategies to get out of situations which may be difficult.
On a personal note these last few months I've been trying to get well myself and as much as I love and adore helping lots of different people I've had to put myself first a bit which has been something which I've found hard. I can't always be helping people, and I have to prioritise who I help too. So please if it takes me a while to respond or if I'm absent from social media for a while etc please understand. It's important to me to feel well again and have the confidence to achive my dreams. I'm determined not to let anxiety hold me back in life and stop me enjoying the things I love doing. It's going to take a while and won't be easy but I have an incredible understanding boyfriend who has been there by my side. I really hope this blog has helped anyone who has been struggling with either condition and hopefully made people aware of the realness of anxiety and how it can effect people on a day to day basis and please try not to judge people till you're aware of their situation.
Please feel free to contact me with any comments.
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Hi everyone I hope you're well? I first began to write this blog back before the first lockdown and have recently got around to re-editi...
